My husband wants me to stay here in Ghana with our child while he is abroad, and only come down to visit us before leaving again. We have been married for three years now, and from the beginning, the plan has always been for us to make arrangements so I can travel and be with him. After all, isn’t that how marriage is supposed to work?

However, every time we start making arrangements, something comes up. We postpone it, life happens, and before we know it, the conversation dies until another opportunity comes around.

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About two months ago, I brought it up again. I called my husband and asked him, “What are you doing about us relocating to Finland?”

His response caught me completely off guard. “Ghana is better. Stay there with Boris. I’ll keep coming down to visit you.”

I didn’t agree, and honestly, I still don’t.

I have done long distance before for three whole years, and I do not want to keep doing marriage like this, with him there and me here. I want to be where my husband is, to sleep beside him, take care of him day and night, and not have to worry about distance. My son also needs his father around him, to have a man in his life who is present and guiding him.

The conversation turned into a full-blown argument, and since then, he has left me on read, stopped replying to my calls and messages, and it feels like he has vanished from the face of the earth.

I have even tried getting someone who is with him to talk to him for us, but he still does not want to speak. I cannot keep asking people to intervene because he hates it when our issues are discussed with others, yet he is also not answering my calls or replying to my texts.

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It was difficult at the beginning, but now I am slowly getting used to his absence, and I know that is not healthy. I know myself, and I know that long distance is not right for us. Whatever we have going on will not survive the many miles separating us.

What do I do to get my husband to talk to me?

—Doris

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