Some witches fly on broomsticks. Some witches, like me, enter a man’s life and shake it up until he makes us the center of his life.
I didn’t need to shake up Kofi’s world, not really. He loved me, with the kind of intensity that can rival the sun.
I met him when I was in JHS 3. He was merely a Facebook friend. Whereas some love withers over distance, ours bloomed. He was in the north, and I was in the south, but thank God for technology. Not a single day went by without a text or a phone call from either of us. My uncle seized my phone after his complaints fell on deaf ears. I still found a way to talk to my Kofi. I loved him even when he hadn’t proposed. I was waiting for the day he would propose so I say yes immediately. When I waited for so long without hearing his proposal, I got angry and sent him a text, “It’s been nice knowing you but let’s cut ties.” As expected, he called to ask why. I told him, “I had fallen in love with you and I don’t want any trouble from your girlfriend so I’m backing out.”
He laughed. He said, “No I don’t have any girlfriend. Actually, I’ve loved you too but didn’t know how to express it.” I said, ‘So we are an item now?” He nodded his head and said, “Yes of course.” And that kickstart our love affair.
Our relationship was on and off, mostly because my family didn’t allow it. We didn’t have any mode of communication when I gained admission to high school. We were not allowed to send phones to school so it was hard to reach him. But where there is love, there is a way, right?
One day, I called him on a friend’s phone. His joy at the sound of my voice turned my heart into butter. I realized I couldn’t go so long without talking to him, so I started sneaking phones to school. I even went as far as stealing my uncle’s phone. My luck ran out one day and I got caught. The school authorities expelled me. It was easier for them to do that because it wasn’t the first time I’d been caught using a phone.
I am a product of divorced parents— an absentee father, and a mother I don’t even know. My guardians were doing their best to give me the best care but when I was expelled from school, they got fed up and sent me back to the village. I didn’t need to be told that education was no longer on the cards for me. I had been expelled and brought back to the village where there was no hope for me but it didn’t bother me though. I was home, where I could see Kofi whenever I desired. That was enough for me.
Right the following day, I went looking for him. I showed up at his workplace, and he was pleasantly surprised to see me. As always, his joy was mine too. I spent the night with him, and the night after that, and many more nights after that. I finally went home when I realized my family would be worried about me. I had already spent two weeks with him. It was bad when I got home. The insults and threats broke my bones so I decided to leave home and rather go and stay with Kofi for good.
I packed the little that I had and left home again. I told Kofi I couldn’t stay with my family. He asked why and I told him everything. He said, “Then, so be it. You can live with me.” From the look of things, he was very glad to have me around. I was underage but it didn’t bother him. Obviously, it didn’t bother me too. We were in love and that’s all that mattered. He tried to send me back to school but it didn’t work. I just couldn’t entertain the idea of being in an environment without him.
He walked through fire for me. He quit his job. We had nothing to live on. We borrowed to eat, begged for food. At some point, he got a job in a chop bar. The daily wage wasn’t anything to write home about but he took it because he was promised three square meals. He took it just so I could also feed. He left the house at 4:00. H left food on the table for me. I watched him starve while he fed me. It made me unhappy. He wouldn’t let me work. Eventually, I got a job in another region. At first, he didn’t want to go but looking at the raw situation we found ourselves in, I convinced him to let me go and he did let me go. I had a job but things were still difficult for me. He sent me money when he could. My salary was GHC300. I spent half of it on transportation to work and back home. I remember how Kofi would joke; “Just find a shrine and sacrifice me for money so all this suffering would end.”I would laugh and he would laugh too. We didn’t have so much to laugh about then.
We kept struggling with our finances. When push came to shove I cheated. I did it for the money. He later found and I apologized. I don’t know the kind of heart that guy possessed. I thought he would leave me. I thought the relationship would come to an end but it didn’t. After going up and down asking why I did what I did, he later forgave me. The cheating didn’t stop. It became a means to an end for me. I cheated a lot but he caught me twice. I later realized that I wasn’t going to make it on my own, so I went back to him. Things did not get any better. I got another job, this time, in Accra. The man who helped me got the job wanted a pound of flesh in return. I needed the job so I went for it and gave the man his pound of flesh. I left for Accra with the hope of beginning a new life. Just after a week, I resigned from the job. I couldn’t stand the health hazard that had to do with the job.
Kofi arranged for me to live with an acquaintance in Accra. After a while, I got a job as a house help. I met a lot of people and began to feel Kofi wasn’t doing enough for me or maybe he was trying too hard. In my second month in Accra, I cheated on him. I double-dated. Then I broke up with him. I wanted the freedom to have random hookups. I couldn’t tell him that though, only that I couldn’t be with him anymore. He cried over the phone, the phone he gave to me in exchange for my “yam”. He begged me to stay but I was already out of the door. We agreed to be friends. All the time I was going through these hustles, I was only eighteen years old. I started seeing someone else. It lasted for a month. He didn’t love me the way Kofi did. Love with an intensity that rivals the sun. I changed men the way I changed tissues for almost a year. None of them were any good. I didn’t live anywhere in particular. I moved between guest houses and houses of men.
Kofi moved on. In March last year, I went to a funeral in my hometown. I spent the night with him but I wouldn’t let him touch me. He went through my phone and found out what I had been up to. He became possessed. He was very angry. We fought. He wanted shuperu. I denied him. He took it with force. We fought again. When I left, I blocked him everywhere. I found out later, that I was pregnant with his child. I couldn’t tell him. I know if I did, he would have told me to have it. I wasn’t ready. I was a bird in the sky. The cage wasn’t my home. I went to the hospital one day and came back without the pregnancy.
Kofi walked through the fire for me. He gave his all. Maybe—just maybe if I asked him to die for me he would have done it. When he finally left my life, that kind of love hasn’t come my way again. The love as strong as the sun. I already had my chance with him. I don’t regret anything
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Things have gotten better for him. It started getting better when let me go. I was his bad karma. I was the harmattan that got the flowers in his life wilted. He has a decent job now and has a pretty girlfriend too. I’m here. still struggling, but he’s better off. I call him for help sometimes and he declines. I understand. I don’t get angry. After all, I taught him to ignore exes when he was in a relationship with me. He took the lesson well and he’s applying it to me. I’m not angry. We are still friends. We buried our differences. I apologized. I made up with my family, and I am trying to make myself better.
I carried my bad luck away from him. For that I am happy. I am happy I didn’t stay and push someone’s son to his early grave. I am that he’s happy at last. He deserves it. Everything good that comes his way, he deserves it. He is happy with her too and that also gladens my heart.
My relationships with other men don’t work. Maybe I’m going around looking for Kofi in other men. He set a bar no one has been able to reach. That kind of love that rivals the sun in intensity. Whatever comes in my life going forward, whether good or bad, I would face it. If I never find true love again, I would forever be happy with the kind of love Kofi gave me years ago—those years when our hearts beat for each other.
—Asantewaah
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