I was young when I fell in love with Aggie. I was like twenty-one going to twenty-two. At that age, love had no meaning except to find a woman you think is beautiful and make her your girlfriend. There was no plan for the future, except to kiss her, make love and pretend that’s all love is about. My relationship with Aggie was like that. I was jobless and living with my parents, so how could I be capable of love?

I’m not surprised the relationship ended badly. I couldn’t cater for her needs and wasn’t there when she needed me the most. Aggie’s best friend was Lucy. She was the one who came between us to settle our issues when we had one. One day she warned me, “My friend loves you and you treat her like she doesn’t matter. It’s only when you want sex that you treat her nicely. I’ll try to advise her to unlove you because you’re not worth it.”

Lucy was fed up with me and my issues but Aggie loved me so no matter what she told Aggie, she kept coming back to me. I don’t know what I was doing right to deserve the kind of immaculate love Aggie was giving to me. I cheated and she caught me. That was the only time in our relationship that I said sorry to her. I think she was happy to hear that for the first time. It gave her this false sense of security that I loved her more than I did so she forgave me easily.

We hung onto this reckless relationship for two years until one day she left me for good. She fell sick and was admitted for four days. I couldn’t go to the hospital to see her. I told her I was scared of her mom. She told me her mom wasn’t the problem. She sent a message through her sister. Lucy came with a message too. “She wants to see you. Maybe she’ll get a little better when she sees you.”

I was that kid who lacked empathy and true love. I used her dad and mom as an excuse not to visit the hospital until she was discharged. When she was healing, she also healed from the love she had for me. Her love for me was a sickness too. She got healed and never looked my way again until I travelled out of town and lost touch with her and the history of that love that never was.

Seven years later, I found Lucy in Kumasi. I was in a queue waiting for trotro when she came to join the queue. I looked at her and said, “You look familiar. Where do I know you?”

She looked different. She looked a little bit plumpy with heavy makeup on. She wore a wig too, something I didn’t see her in when we were young. But she looked at me once and mentioned my name, “Osei, what are you doing here?” It’s the way she called my name. It brought back memories of our young days. She was one of the few people who called me by my surname. “Lucy,” I screamed. “I should be asking you what you’re doing here.”

We left the queue and talked until a car came. I took her number and she took mine. We were not far from each other, our houses. We talked every day that day until we met on the weekend. She had come to Kumasi to work but I’d been in Kumasi since I left them. It was like I knew more about Kumasi than she did so I became her unofficial tour guide, taking her to places to shop and showing her where to get what.

One day, we talked about our past and everything was about Aggie. How I loved her wrong and how she loved me truly but I didn’t see it. We had one thing in common that day. Both of us had lost touch with Aggie. She knew where Aggie was but she hadn’t spoken to her over a year. I didn’t even know her whereabouts. It’s like that. Life happens. We are not trees so we often grow apart.

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That day she called Aggie. She said, “Guess who is here with me…Osei. Your Osei.” Aggie responded, “Where did you find that forking boy?” They burst into laughter. I said, “Her Aggie, it’s me you’re calling forking?” She repeated, “Are you not forking? Who doesn’t know that you’re a forking boy?” She hadn’t forgiven me but it was such an old story. We laughed about it and called it a small world.

Aggie and Lucy haven’t talked again since that day but I and Lucy have grown very close. I see her every day and visit her often in the evening after work. She does the same too. She cooks and invites me to eat. On weekends, I give her money and she’ll prepare meals for the two of us. When we are bored, we go out and chill together. Neighbours think we are dating but the last time I proposed to her, she said no. She’ll never fall in love with her friend’s ex.

“Technically I’m not an ex. We were just kids trying our luck on things we didn’t understand. That was history. Seven years ago is too long to count against me.”

Aggie still insists that I’m an ex to her friend so she can’t be with me. She’s the only woman I’m close to currently. We go out and do a lot of things together. If I don’t call her by mid-day, she’ll call and ask, “Are we fighting? Why haven’t you called me?”

The last time she told me I’m only good at being friends and not good as a lover. She has witnessed me as a lover and has experienced me as a friend and she thinks I’m good as a friend. I’ve changed. It’s been seven years down the line. I’ve learned a lot and I think I’m a better person now than I was at twenty-two but Lucy says no. Nothing I say makes sense to her but she still hangs around my life, calling me a friend she can’t live without.

Is she playing a trick on me? Is it an invitation for me to try harder to win her? These few months have been very rough for me because of her. I’m getting to thirty. I have dreams of marrying at thirty-one. If that will happen, I should date someone now. She’s the only one I see but she doesn’t see me that way.

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What are my options? I love her. She’s a complete woman. She’s caring, knows how to cook and how to hold a conversation. Her energy matches mine and her interests in life align with mine. She’s beautiful too. I see a beautiful future with her but all she sees in me is an ugly past she can’t seem to forget. Or I’m asking for too much from her?

—Osei

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