Ten Years Later, He Is Still Proposing To Me

Think of everything you can do to sustain a healthy relationship, Awudu and I have it. If I’m not exaggerating, we can be on a video call for two hours, just talking. When I first met him I didn’t think he was someone I would come to form this kind of bond with. I didn’t even think much of him at all. That’s why it amazes me that we’ve been in each other’s lives for ten years and counting.

We met in 2013 when I was managing my uncle’s pharmacy. By then I had registered to write Nov/Dec while he was in his second year of KNUST. The first time we spoke he addressed me as “Ma”. I couldn’t believe that a grown man like him would address me as Ma. I was slightly offended but it didn’t stop me from getting to know him.

The good thing about our friendship was that Awudu was academically gifted. So he helped me prepare for my exams. And when my results were released, I did well enough to gain admission to any tertiary school of my choice. I was all about teaching so I applied to the teacher training college. Unfortunately, I didn’t get in. I was so discouraged that I decided to give up on my dreams.

When Awudu found out that I was no longer interested in continuing with my education, he wouldn’t have it. He made it his mission to encourage me to chase my dreams. He gave me lectures and presented arguments to change my mind. It got to a point where I felt that I wouldn’t only be letting myself down but I’d be letting him down as well. So I applied to the training college again. And they rejected me again. I gave up a second time but Awudu was there to push me back up.

The next time I applied for school it was to the Polytechnic. This time around I gained admission. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it was a stepping stone to the future. During this period of our closeness, Awudu confessed his love for me. He wanted us to be together but I turned him down. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him back. I grew to love him. There was no particular reason for my love for him. I just love him. I only turned him down because of our religious differences. He didn’t think it was a problem but I considered it a barrier.

There were times my feelings for him were so intense that I would ignore him for months or even an entire year. It was the only way I could keep myself from falling at his feet and eating up all the love he had for me. Sometimes he would ask me, “What is it about our religious backgrounds that is a turn-off for you? We are humans first before anything else. Why can’t we come to an arrangement that is mutually beneficial?”

I would tell him, “You are a staunch Muslim and my identity is rooted in my Christianity. The two of us getting together sounds like mixing oil and water. It won’t work.” We would have deep conversations about the whole thing and he would suggest, “What if you practice your Christianity and I also practice my Islam? There’s no rule in marriage that we must all belong to the same faith.” I would picture marrying a man I can’t fellowship with and laugh. “Awudu, you need to let this go. It won’t happen,” I’d finally say.

I have never led him on or given him hope that I would change my mind. I have always firmly established that we can only be friends. In school, hit roommates became my friends and mine became his friends too. They all tried to convince me to give Awudu a chance but I stood my ground.

Every time he needed money, I would share the little I had with him. He graduated while I was still in school. During his national service days, I ghosted him for the whole period. I wanted him to meet new people and possibly a love interest so he would move on from me. That didn’t happen. His focus was on working hard so that he would be retained at his place of service. Unfortunately, he came close only to see the opportunity passed to someone else. It almost broke him.

For an entire year after national service Awudu was unemployed. When I graduated school and started my national service, he was still jobless. I used to share my allowance with him. He became so frustrated that he wanted to give up. I said, “Not on my watch. Remember when I wanted to give up and you gave me lectures? Now, it’s your turn.” I summoned  all the motivational speeches I had in me, and I encouraged him to keep pushing.

Through his struggles, he won a scholarship to pursue his master’s at KNUST. His brother was the one helping him, and I also stepped in when he needed my assistance. After my national service, I worked with a politician. He didn’t pay me much but the side money that came with the job was good. So I had money. When he saw that I was doing well, he advised me to do my first degree. I listened to him and applied to UCC. He was happy with my progress just as I was happy with his. We made each other better in almost every aspect of our lives.

One day he came to my house to tell me he wants to apply for a scholarship abroad. I wasn’t sure about its success but I encouraged him to go for it. He filled out all the necessary documents and forwarded them to me. I printed them and submitted them to the scholarship secretariat.

A few months later, he came to my house and broke the good news to me that he got a school. I helped him however I could with his preparations. The night before he left, he came to my house. I thought he was coming to say goodbye but it was so much more. Awudu took my hand, looked at me intently and said, “Esther, we’ve been going back and forth with our relationship for years now. I am tired of arguing about all the reasons we can’t be together. You know I love you. And I know you love me too. Please, marry me.”

If this was a movie the girl would have shed a few tears and finally said yes. But this is not a movie. This is real life. This is my life and I believe love alone does not a marriage make. I asked him, “Ah, why are you bringing up this topic again? My answer will always be no, so please close it.” In the past, he would have laughed and let it go but this time around he didn’t.

READ ALSO: He’s Running From Me To God But God Knows What He Did That Day

He looked into my eyes and asked, “Search your heart and answer this question for me. Will you be happy if I marry someone else?” My answer came in a flood of tears drowning my cheeks. He went on, “Madam, I don’t have a heart for any other girl but you. You have set a standard no lady I’ve met has been able to reach. I know you are a lot to handle but I know you are a lot to lose too. I can’t lose you please, so let’s get married.” We almost kissed that night but someone or something distracted us. Maybe if we kissed, he would have stolen my sense of reasoning too.

Why am I sharing this story? It’s been ten years since Awudu proposed to me. And I have turned him down with no assurance of being with him for the same amount of time. However, he doesn’t want to let me go. All his attempts of moving on have failed because he looks for me in other women. I’ve told him it’s not possible to find someone exactly like me. But he refuses to listen to me.

He Accused Me Of Hacking Into His Phone| Silent Beads

I tried to set him up with my friend but he told me I was being stupid. to him and he told me not to be stupid for the first time. We’ve both been in relationships that have failed. Awudu says it’s because destiny has connected us. He’s not getting any younger but he keeps talking about a standard I have set in his life. I get worried for him with each passing day. Is he making sense? Is this talk about standard real? Or he is just flattering me?

I love him, but love alone is not enough to make such a life-changing decision. I don’t want anything to destroy the peace I have with him. I am glad we helped each other rise to the top and I am happy with our friendship. How do I get him to move on?