Somewhere in 2020, my friend, Ivy, asked me to accompany her to pick up clothes from her tailor’s shop. After she finished her business and we left, I got a call from a strange number. The voice on the other end was a man. “This is Andy,” he said, “Ivy’s tailor. I took your number from her. Is it okay if I call you from time to time to check up on you? I want to be your friend.”

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That call led to many other calls that soon developed into phone calls between two people in a romantic relationship. He was lovely. I was sure he was the man I belonged with.

The only thing I found strange about him was his tendency not to save phone numbers. Whenever I was with him, he would get calls from unsaved numbers but refuse to pick up. “Oh, this person is just a client,” he would say.

One evening, while we were watching TV, an unknown number kept calling him. Andy refused to answer. He said it was a client whose dress he hadn’t finished. Our phones were both on the table. While he was talking I reached for mine to check my messages, Andy panicked, snatched his phone, and held it tightly. His explanation was that he didn’t want me to see confidential client information.

Seriously? What’s confidential about clothes? I asked there and then to see his phone. He hesitated at first but I pushed until he gave it to me. I opened the last message he received and started scrolling through their chat. It was clear that the person was his girlfriend.

He denied having anything doing with her. “It’s not what you think. She is just a friend.”

I left his house that day, feeling angry and betrayed. The next day, he came to my house to apologise. He said they were not dating but Abigail liked him. He played along because she was young and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Despite my doubts, I chose to let it go.

Eight months into the relationship, Andy called me sounding distressed. Before I could ask questions he said, “If Abigail calls you, don’t listen to anything she says, please. Just insult her and hung up.”

I didn’t have time to process the information before she called me. She was polite, as she introduced herself to me. When we got the formalities out of the way she asked who Andy was to me.

“He’s my boyfriend,” I answered.

“Is that so? He told me you are just a customer who is throwing yourself at him, despite his lack of interest in you.”

According to what he told her, I was so obsessed with him that I showed up at his shop and his house uninvited. Me?

I was furious but I calmly asked her questions of my own. They had been dating for a year. That meant he was with her before he met me.

I immediately set up a conference call with Andy. He stayed silent while Abigail and I threw questions at him. Even when we asked him to choose, he didn’t talk.

After that encounter, if I missed Andy’s calls, he would remind me that I was competing with Abigail for his heart. “You’re not even picking up my calls on time, and you expect me to choose you over her?” he would say.

Eventually, Andy chose Abigail. My heart broke but I chose to do everything possible to get over him. A week later, he came to my house and asked my mum and uncle to help him apologize to me. Oh, I refused to take him back. “You’re being too harsh,” my uncle told me. “He’s truly sorry. Can’t you just forgive him? All men cheat. This is not new.”

Thankfully, I did not allow my feelings or the opinions of my relatives to sway me. I stood firm in my stance and turned him away.

Later, I learned that Andy was also apologising to Abigail to forgive him for cheating. He involved her family and friends at the same time he was apologising to me through my family. I knew then that I made the right decision. I closed the door on him for good.

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Four years after all that drama, Andy showed up at my house again. This time, he claimed he had changed and wanted to marry me.

“I’ve realised I need a fully employed woman as my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said.

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As he was talking, his phone rang. On the screen, the name popped up: “Abigail ❤️💍.” He looked embarrassed and refused to answer.

I simply told him, “I don’t even want you as a friend. Obviously, you haven’t changed. Please stay away from me, because I don’t wish you well at all.”

—Stacy

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