Louisa was a friend, but I was secretly in love with her. I would take her on dates out of the blue and make sure she laughed all through the night. I would buy gifts and be there for her whenever she needed me. She was in school. During her final year, things got very hard for her. She needed assistance, so she ran to me. I gave her what she needed and even added extra. I’m not rich, but when it comes to who I love, I go the extra mile.

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Before she started her national service, I proposed to her, and she said I should give her some time to think about it. A week later, she sent a message telling me she couldn’t date me. She concluded, “This has been the hardest decision for me, but I hope you understand.”

I didn’t know the context in which I should understand her, but I didn’t make a fuss about it. Instead, I decided to withdraw so I could cool my heart and focus on the next step. She came to my place, and we talked. She still didn’t give a reason. Instead, she said, “I hope you’re not going to stop helping me just because I said no. We are still great friends, I hope you know that?”

Where she went to do her service, she needed money for rent. She ran to me, and I helped out. She traveled out of town for her service, but she called every day or texted. One day, she said, “So, do you want to tell me you won’t come and visit me at my station?”

When I had the time, I went to her place to see her. You’d look around her room and realize all wasn’t well. I took her to the market and bought foodstuffs for her, enough groceries to last for a while. She didn’t have a fridge or even a cooker. I didn’t have much, but on my subsequent visits, I bought these things for her one at a time.

She said, “I really envy the woman you’re going to marry. What did she do right to deserve a man like you?” I asked her, “What did you do wrong not to deserve us being together?”

“Hmmm.”

That was all she said.

She completed her national service and came back home. She had a job and left town again. It had been three years since she said no to me. I’d met a lady, but it didn’t feel right. I was totally absent-minded in the relationship, so eventually, the lady left me.

One day, I got a call from Louisa. She said, “Are you still single? Do you want us to start something? If we start today, when are we going to get married?”

I said, “Hey, slow down. Who’s pursuing you? Are you being pushed to get married?”

She asked me to visit her, and I did. She told me the reason she said no to my proposal and why she was changing her mind. She said, “Your tribe. My parents wouldn’t accept you, and I was scared to waste your time. But now I’m no longer scared. I’m willing to fight them, so if you’re ready, let’s do it.”

Her father said no. Her mom advised her to find a good man from her hometown to marry. “You need a man who understands your language, not just any man,” her mom advised. She told them, “Find someone for me in two months. I need a man who is ready to marry me in six months. If you fail, then you won’t stop me.”

The next time we went back to see them, they asked me, “Who are you, and what do you do?”

Before I could speak, Louisa answered, “Dad, you’re asking the right question from the wrong person. Ask me who he is, and I will tell you everything. Do you remember I was sending you money monthly when I was doing my service? Ask who gave me the money. I had everything in my room while doing my service. Ask how much I was earning during service and how I was able to afford all that. I nearly didn’t graduate because you were sick and had nothing. Ask how I pulled through.”

They were quiet for a while. Her mom said, “So you’re telling us he’s rich, is that so?” She answered, “I’m telling you he has been through the thin times with me. This is the time for us to experience the thick moments, but you two decided to extend the thin period for us. Is that fair?”

I was feeling uncomfortable. I wished I could stand and walk away. Before we left, the man took my number. When he called, he said, “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. We didn’t know you, but you’ve done enough. When you’re ready, come and marry her. I’ll go against my better judgment because it’s you.”

We got married soon after, and he was the happiest man alive. He struck a bond with my dad because they found a common interest in a drink. We have three kids now, and all my kids have names from my wife’s tribe because that was also one of her dad’s worries—that his grandkids wouldn’t have names rooted in their tribe.

Call a Friend and Ask For Thousand Cedis (A Prank)

Some small compromises here and there, but in the end, I learned a bigger lesson: if you love someone, spend on her. There’s no better way to prove love than backing it with your sweat. Our sweat is the ultimate sacrifice we make to earn a livelihood. If the woman is part of your livelihood, then why wouldn’t you let her benefit from your sweat? You call it gold-digging, but if she’s truly the one, then you’re the one digging for gold.

—Darko

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