I met JJ during my NYSC days in 2023. He was also a corps member who lived in the same compound as me, and that was how our friendship began. From the start, he made it clear that he wasn’t interested in a relationship, but I already liked him too much to walk away.
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Eventually, we started sleeping together. Since there was no other woman in his life, I assumed that, with time, he would make things official between us.
He provided everything I needed, took me out often, and spent a lot of time with me. People saw us together and admired what they thought was a perfect relationship. To the world, we looked like the ideal couple, but in reality, it was just a “friends with benefits” arrangement.
Ten months later, my service year came to an end. Two days before I left, JJ proposed to me.
In 2024, he relocated to Abuja, while I stayed back in Calabar. Soon, he began complaining about the distance and how he couldn’t cope with a long-distance relationship. I had already planned to move to Abuja eventually, but because of him, I fast-tracked my plans. I got a remote job right after service, while JJ was still job hunting and living with his parents.
When I arrived in Abuja, I stayed with my cousin for two months before getting my own place. JJ practically made my apartment his second home; he would come early in the morning and stay till 9 or 10 p.m. every day. I provided breakfast, lunch, and dinner for both of us.
During that period, he became increasingly insecure. He constantly accused me of cheating and believed every man who spoke to me wanted to sleep with me. The relationship became toxic. He made me block and delete every male contact on my phone, and I did.
About five months later, he finally got a supervisor job at a furniture shop. The pay wasn’t much, but it was something. I supported him however I could. I cooked and brought him meals, took him out, bought him clothes and shoes, paid for his subscriptions, and loaned him money that he never repaid.
I even gave him random gifts because I didn’t want him to feel less of a man. Instead of appreciating my efforts, he became verbally abusive. I put up with all of it because I didn’t want people to say I left him just because he was jobless or that I wasn’t ready to build with a man.
Along the line, he got a better job, while I secured a position as a brand promoter. He didn’t receive his salary for the first three months, so I supported him with transport money and even had food delivered to his office every other week.
Then, out of nowhere he told me he wasn’t comfortable with my brand promotion job. He said he wanted his woman to work in a proper office.
When I refused to quit my job, it turned into a huge argument. Not long after, he called one morning and said he wanted to come over. I told him I had work. He got upset. “You don’t value my presence,” he accused. “There are many women who would beg for my time.”
I told him I’d gladly stay home if he could pay me what my brand was offering. He got angry and hung up.
I thought it was just a lovers’ quarrel and that he’d come around. But it’s been almost two years now, and I haven’t heard from him. Recently, I stumbled upon a post of him with another woman, and all the pain and hurt came rushing back.
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I keep asking myself what my crime was. I turned down good men just to stay loyal to him. I was faithful until the very end, but in return, I got silence and heartbreak.
I don’t know what I could have done differently. All I can hope for now is healing. I want to love again, to trust again, but honestly, I’m scared.
—Blossom
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My dear, I am happy you have accepted that what you need now is healing. As for the love aspect the heart will still yearn for it; it’s natural and we can’t do anything about it.
Now coming to the disappointment and heartbroken part; understand that you gave it your all and it ended this way.
Sometimes we pray to God to give us some signs and we get them through situations like this.
What I want to tell you is that an ungrateful heart or bad person is not defined by gender.
A bad person can be likened to a cat; no matter the amount of meat you feed it with; its appetite for meat never goes away.
So their nature is to do that so the ungrateful heart.
He knew what you were capable of he knew if he dint stress you you would see him for who he really is….my sister let go of that man fast fast you did nothing wrong to him imagine if you could do all those nice things to a real man who appreciates you and loves you how happy you would be.
Dont rest find yourself a good man if it doesnt wor try again and again till you find someone qho makes you laugh makes you happy and appreciates your hard work and efforts.
The time you want to move on he will come back again this looser trust me he will and you will qrite again and ask us if you should take him back after 2 years of silence. He dint break up with you or say anything to you so that he can come back when he feels like it and that you are still desperately waiting for him. Freee yourself now. Never take such a man back he has no respect for your heart.