I’ve been dating this girl for about a year and a few months now. She’s 18 years old, and honestly, she loves me in a way no other girl ever has. I love her deeply too — she’s become such a big part of my life.

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But there’s something that has been eating me up inside for a long time. She’s had to end three pregnancies for me. Each time it happened, I felt completely broken inside. If I had money or was more stable, I would never have allowed any of it to happen. It haunts me every single day, especially because I met her as a virgin. I feel I failed her.

Despite everything, she has stood by me. She visits me often, helps around when she can, and tries her best to show love and care. I’ve introduced her to my parents because I genuinely see a future with her. Whenever she comes around, she tries to clean, sweep, and do house chores.

However, sometimes she’s just too tired to do anything at our place, since she often helps her mother with household chores before coming over.

Unfortunately, my mom doesn’t see things that way. She thinks my girlfriend is lazy and doesn’t like her at all. In fact, my mom has told me several times to leave her because she’s not the right one for me. It hurts me deeply because I know the kind of heart this girl has. She’s young but she is respectful, caring, and supportive. The only problem is that my family doesn’t see her through my eyes.

Things have gotten worse recently. My brothers have started having unnecessary issues with her. They talk to her rudely, and I can tell it makes her uncomfortable. I’ve tried to stay calm, but one day, things got out of hand. My brother said something disrespectful to her, and I almost slapped him out of anger. That’s when I realised how much tension this relationship is causing between me and my family.

Now, I’m stuck between two worlds. On one hand, I love my family — they’ve always been there for me. On the other hand, I love this girl deeply, and I know she doesn’t deserve to be treated badly. My mom is someone whose words carry weight. Usually, when she says something, it comes to pass. That scares me. She keeps insisting that my girl is not the one for me, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

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While I don’t want to go against my family, I don’t want to hurt the girl I love either. She’s been there through my hardest days, even when I had nothing. She’s shared in my struggles, and sacrificed her body and emotions to make me happy.

I keep asking myself: what if my mom is right? What if she’s not the one for me, and I’m just blinded by emotions?

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Sometimes, I imagine what life would be like if I had enough money and stability to take responsibility for everything. Maybe we wouldn’t have had to go through the pain of “aborshions.” Maybe my family would respect her more if I had the means to stand firmly on my own.

I don’t know what to do anymore. That’s why I’m sharing this story. I just want to hear people’s honest opinions. What would you do if your heart and your family were pulling you in opposite directions?

—Sheiba

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