Some time ago, I received a prophecy that I would meet a man abroad, someone who matched a very specific description, and that I would marry him. When I finally met him, he was exactly as the pastor had described. So I followed the flow.
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Our first date was beautiful. He didn’t try to touch me or cross any lines. For a long time, he didn’t do anything at all. He was respectful, kind, and truly a gentleman. After six months together, we had our last date before I left his town. It felt like a scene from a movie. We had dinner, then took a quiet walk to the park. We sat on a bench, watching geese play in the spring. It was a cold December night, but when we kissed, the cold disappeared. It was magical. Every touch felt deep, like our lives depended on it. That night became one of my favourite memories.
I was raised in a Christian home, with a strong fear of God. I’ve always believed in staying pure until marriage. My partner isn’t a believer, though he grew up in a Christian home. He said that after his father died, his mother sank into depression, and over time, their whole family gradually drifted away from God.
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At first, our different beliefs didn’t seem like a big deal. But as time went on, intimacy became an issue. He didn’t want a relationship without physical connection. We had been together for almost a year. He never forced me, but I could feel his patience wearing thin. We didn’t argue: we talked, we reasoned, and we loved each other with maturity. But someone had to give in. And I did, without thinking twice.
A month ago, he took my virginity. The month before that, he touched me in a way that broke my hymen. I saw the blood on the sheets, and it broke my heart. But that pain was nothing compared to how I felt the night we finally had sex. I cried quietly as he entered me, realizing I had done the one thing I promised my mother I never would.
I never thought I’d enjoy physical intimacy this much. I’ve been with someone before, but this feels different. When we make love, it’s not just physical. It feels emotional, even spiritual. Every touch, every kiss feels like he’s saying, ‘You are mine, you belong here, my arms are your home.’
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He’s a very good man. I can’t imagine letting him go. But I’m torn. I feel broken. I’ve always been open with my mum, but now I don’t know if I should tell her or carry this guilt until he marries me, maybe next year on my 25th birthday, if things go well.
What hurts more is that I don’t know how to fix my relationship with God while being with someone who isn’t walking with Him. I know we’re unequally yoked. But he’s such a good man. My brother says maybe God brought me into his life to help him find his way back to faith. But right now, it feels like I’m the one drifting away.
What do I do?
—Vanessa
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Dear sister in the Lord,
Realising a thing and making honest steps to redemption is important. Like my Pastor will tell me,when a thing overwhelms you,draw back(pause) and find your focus (refocus).
Sometimes keeping relationships away from guidance of mentors(in this case your Pastor or the one who brought you the Prophecy) and sometimes from parents(in this case your mother) may lead to these,and the more you hide it,the more you may sink.
The practical approach to finding your steps back is to go to your spiritual leader for accountability sake;I believe you will be corrected in love.Your mom with all the love for you won’t chastise you.
To the basics;
Read your bible,pray every day.
God is love,Jesus loves you
God bless you K
You said it all
One thing believers should know is that, the season between receiving a prophecy and entering into the prophecy must be lived in serious prayers and confirmation.
This reminds me of when a genuine prophet prophesied to a lady concerning her would be husband. He gave her his name and everything. Fast forward, she met a guy who fitted the description of the prophet with the name and she began dating him. After sometime, she met the prophet and went to thank him for the prophecy but the prophet told her they guy she is with is not the guy he prophesied about but a fake the enemy has sent to distract her from the real person so she should break up with him immediately.
All I’m trying to communicate is that, even in prophecy, there should be a confirmation from GOD. Shalom
Your guilt is justified and so is your self-condemnation. But dwelling on it will not help. You need to forgive yourself and your partner as well. Be the guiding light in this relationship. Share his fears and let him know that disappointment is a fact of life and a believer is bound to confront them. He, just like you must seek solace in your faith. A good man is hard to find and you deserve one. Be resolute and steadfast.