My man proposed marriage to me right from the talking stage. Although I wasn’t ready at the time, I agreed to give him a chance. I figured we would spend some time getting to know each other before diving into all the talks about marriage. That should buy me some time to get a job.

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He’s a good and loving man. He wants to get married as soon as possible. I keep telling him to wait until I get a job before we tie the knot. That’s the problem we are facing right now.

“If you say you can’t marry me until you get a job, you are telling me you don’t trust me to provide for you when we get married.”

That’s far from the truth. He’s been taking care of me for the past two years since I lost my job. I know he can provide. I just believe it’s best to have a job first before we settle down. After all, when we start our family, I’d like to be able to contribute financially to running the home and buy things for my husband too.

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During these two years, he has brought three different ladies into the picture, all because I’m not ready to settle down. Each time it happens, he becomes distant. One of the women already had a man, but he still went ahead and dated her. Another one ended up cheating on him. When these relationships hit the rocks, he comes crawling back to me.

I know he loves me. Everything he does shows he does. He is entertaining all these women because he believes my decision to wait until I’m employed means I don’t want to marry him.

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Now, he’s grown cold again. That’s how I know there’s another woman in his life again. As usual, he blocked me from seeing his posts so he can be posting whomever it is.

This time, I won’t go back to him if he returns. What if we marry and face challenges? Say, if I struggle to conceive, won’t he look elsewhere for comfort again?

—Barbara

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