We have dated for a year and throughout that year, I have never asked him for money or even hinted at needing a favour. When I can, I buy him gifts. Sometimes he buys me gifts too. Anytime we go out, I pay for what I eat and he pays for his own. I do all of this not because I am trying to prove that I am not materialistic, but because I want him to see that I am capable of pulling my weight. I want him to know that when life gets hard, he won’t be doing it alone. He always says he loves that about me. He even compliments me for being “different from the rest.”

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Where I live, my landlord suddenly said he needed the house for something else. My rent was almost due so he said he wouldn’t renew it. I started searching for a new place but everything within my budget was either too far, too unsafe or too terrible to live in. At this point, I needed help. Not a full rent payment. Just a push.

So I went to the man I call my boyfriend. The same man who sleeps in my room freely, eats food I buy with my money, wears clothes I wash for him, and enjoys the comfort I create for us. I asked him for help and this man looked me in the face and said, “When it gets to my turn to pay rent, are you also going to help?”

I asked him, “You know if I had the money I wouldn’t even ask you, so why this question?” He said, “I just need assurance so I can hold you to it.”

I didn’t take his money. I quietly found a place, packed my things and moved. He doesn’t even know I have moved out. And the more I think about it, the angrier I get. I keep imagining a future where every little thing becomes a transaction. A marriage where he waits for my left hand to go before he moves his right hand. A home where love becomes a business partnership instead of support.

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I am now thinking of ending the relationship quietly. No explanations. No drama. Just silence. I won’t pick up his calls and he wouldn’t be able to know where I live. Do you think it’s a good idea? Am I wrong for wanting to save myself from a man whose first instinct is to calculate instead of care?

—Emelia

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