When my best friend got married, I was the bride’s maid. When she got pregnant, I was the first person she told, even before her husband got to know about it. I helped her plan the surprise she used to announce the pregnancy to her husband. Every pain, every sleepless night, every unexpected turn that came with the pregnancy, she shared with me.

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When she gave birth, I was out of town working at a place I never thought work could take me. I was going through my own issues, but immediately she told me she had delivered, I put everything aside, called her on video, and we celebrated. She showed me the baby on the video, and I said, “Wow, she looks like you.”

Days later, when she had left the hospital and the baby was a bit dry, she sent me photos of her, and I wrote, “We thank God so much for this. Congratulations.” She didn’t write back, and if I can remember, it was at this point she started giving me attitude. I took it as one of those things.

The baby’s christening—she invited all the people around me but not me. She didn’t even mention it to me though I’d spoken to her within that week, and she was still acting cold.

I wasn’t hurt. I was just waiting to get back to town so I could meet her and thrash out whatever the issue was.

One of the friends who attended the christening came to tell me the reason for my best friend’s cold attitude. According to her, my friend was hurt because when I saw her baby, I didn’t say the baby was cute. She went ahead and sent me photos, and I acted as if the baby didn’t matter. The way I behaved toward the news of her having a baby had scared her, so she was being careful with me.

I screamed, “Wow! She told you this?”

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It looked like all she wanted to hear was “cute” to indicate that she was capable of giving birth to a cute girl, and since I didn’t say it, I was jealous of her marital grace. We’ve been friends since school time, but it looks like I’m going to let this friendship go. I don’t have the time to explain this pettiness away. What’s this?

—Nancy

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