I slapped my girlfriend. Sometimes, when you’re pushed past your limit, you just snap. All the same, I know physical violence is frowned upon, but in my defense, this was the first time anything like this had ever happened in the year we’ve been dating.
Ever since the incident, our relationship has taken a different turn. I don’t know if we are dating or if I should wait. We haven’t spoken since. I’ve tried reaching out, but she refuses to listen or give me a chance to explain. Even her mom has told her to show me some mercy, but still.
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Here is how it all started.
Recently, I started pulling away from my girlfriend. It wasn’t because I fell out of love with her. Far from it. I was completely overwhelmed by situations beyond my control, and I just couldn’t keep up with constant communication. I didn’t even have the mental energy to text “I love you.”
Our communication fell apart for a long time. It took the sudden realization that she was entertaining another man to wake me up to reality and what I stood to lose.
I found out she went to visit him. When I asked, she lied and said she went to visit her sister. I took the excuse at face value at first. She even said, “You can call her, we went at 6 PM and came back at 11 PM.” But I knew something was off. When I checked her phone, there were no messages with her sister and no recent activity in her inbox.
She kept lying in my face. I was at her place and I knew that if I stayed much longer I’d unleash my anger, so I walked out on her.
Later, we sat down to talk. I told her that if she kept lying, I would have no choice but to end the relationship, and I knew she didn’t want that. “If you tell me the truth, I might even forgive you. I just want the truth.”
She finally confessed. She said she started seeing the other guy because I made her feel neglected and abandoned. Since I wasn’t giving her attention, she turned to him.
I was ready to forgive her and move past it, but before doing that, I asked to see their chat history. In just three weeks of talking, their conversations had already turned sexual. She screen-shared their chats with me to show the chats, but every time she got to the sexual parts, she scrolled past them rapidly so I couldn’t read them. But I caught glimpses of every single line. Her constant attempt to hide those specific parts is what set me off.
I took a car straight to her house and demanded she hand over the phone. When she saw me through the door, she locked me out. She said she wouldn’t open up because she was scared I was going to beat her. I had no intention of laying a hand on her, so I waited outside on the doorstep until she finally felt safe enough to let me in.
As soon as she opened the door, I grabbed the phone and opened WhatsApp. Every single one of those chats had been deleted. That was what set me off the most, alongside the fact that she tried to hide the phone from me.
While I was standing there fuming, she said, “I love you. It’s you I love, but I was lonely and you weren’t giving me attention. You told me to come clean. If you knew you were going to break up with me anyway, why did you tell me to be honest? I made a mistake by telling you the truth.”
That was the moment I slapped her.
I swear I didn’t even realize my hand was moving until it hit her face. And I regret it very much.
She hasn’t responded to my messages or my calls. I know she sees the texts and calls—the calls go through, and messages on WhatsApp turn blue.
Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?
What can I do to change her mind and give me another chance? I still feel guilty for neglecting her feelings and all the events that happened that ended up with me slapping her. I just want my girlfriend back.
— Emmanuel
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Emma, communication is key. Dating is rehearsal for marriage. So the question I want to ask is, if you are going through so much as a married man and your mental health is at stake, will you ignore your wife and kids? Hmmmm
Let’s learn to compactmentalize it helps. If it is something you can discuss with your partner, do so.
I believe that when you love someone so much to the point of dating her, that person becomes your peace in the storm. Sometimes it’s their presence, listening ear, hug, cuddle etc helps us to overcome situations that trouble us.
I’m not excusing her cheating, she was wrong. But you slapping her was worse.
If I were her, I won’t come back to you.
Her excuse of entertaining another man, just because she’s lonely, is untenable. She already had it in her to cheat. She’s only leveraging on the flimsy excuse of being lonely, to justify her shameful act.
Please, walk away from the relationship. This is a true indicator to call off the relationship. So everytime she’s lonely, next thing she would do, would be to latch onto another man giving her attention?! She likely had sex with that guy. She’s a shameless person. She shouldn’t even be giving you tough time. You should do away with her already.
Is she the only woman on earth. Are you a simp? After everything she did you still want her in your life? Apologize for the slap and let her be. So you don’t know as the man you are the prize and deserve better?