The day I introduced him to my father, my dad said I deserved better. He didn’t know my boyfriend. It was his first time meeting him. He didn’t even ask him questions about his work or his wealth. He only told me I deserved better, so I should go and come again.

My mom laughed as if it was funny. And then my dad laughed, stopped midway, and told me, “I didn’t waste my money on you to take you to the university for you to bring this man home. Please come again with another man.”

I was deeply hurt by their actions, but I knew the kind of man I was dating and was very sure he was the man for me. My dad called one early morning and said, “I hope you’ve slept on my request and have found it worthy of consideration. I named you Rose to attract princes and the mighty. What is this?”

READ ALSO: I Cancelled Our Wedding But I’m Still Living With His Mother

So I calmed down and explained my choice to him. Yes, my boyfriend wasn’t a university graduate, but he spoke very good English and was articulate. He had his own business right after he dropped out of the polytechnic because his parents couldn’t help. He had his own house and drove his own car. It wasn’t a big car, but it was a car.

My dad said those things were not enough. “You don’t want to travel abroad with your kids for vacation? You don’t want to live in a mansion where maids will serve you?” he asked me. I answered, “Then tell me to bring home a thief instead.”

I’m that stubborn when it comes to my choices. The only time I think twice about my choice is when I have identified a red flag myself and another person has also identified that same red flag. My dad didn’t do that. He only called my boyfriend a bad choice because he didn’t have material things.

For several months, we argued over this. I still stood my ground. One morning, he called again, and this time he cried. I didn’t know my dad was that manipulative. I told him to at least give him the benefit of the doubt. He said, amidst sobs, “You’ve disappointed me. I will look forward to Akua. She’ll do better than this because she’s a better human.”

Akua is my younger sister. It didn’t hurt me. I wished him well in his pursuit of happiness.

Because he didn’t like Godfred, he used the slightest opportunity to let it show. Godfred got a hint of it and asked if I was sure my dad would allow him to marry me. I told him to relax. When we finally went home for the knocking rite, my dad presented a very outrageous dowry list to Godfred. When I looked at it, I laughed.

Godfred said, “I told you. He doesn’t want us to get married.” I responded, “I told you. Relax and leave the rest to me.”

He asked me to go to my dad and ask for a reduction. I told him we would do no such thing. “Start from the top of the list and buy what you can. I will start from the bottom. Let’s meet halfway.”

It took us five months to gather everything. We fixed the date, and on that day, my dad couldn’t look at him twice. His plans had failed, and he knew it. He was happy about the huge amount he stated and got. He smiled a lot. We went through the wedding smoothly and began our life as a married couple.

Two years later, my dad called my husband and asked for a loan. My husband didn’t tell me about it. He had this idea of trying to impress my dad into liking him, so he gave the money to him. When it got to the time to pay, that was when I heard of it. I was disappointed in my dad, but I also blamed my husband. We were one in marriage. He should have told me about it.

It was what my dad said that made my husband angrier. He told my husband to be ashamed of himself for asking his father-in-law to pay what he owed him. “Do you know what went into the woman you married? You don’t know what university education is, but you were able to marry a university graduate because of me.”

My husband has never forgotten this statement. He’s still hurt, and anytime he thinks of it, it drives him crazy. He stopped me from going home. Even if it was important for me to go, I would have to beg him for so long. He used to give me money for my parents, but he stopped and even asked me to stop sending money to my dad. “I’m deducting what he owes me from what you’ll send him.”

He made it very difficult for me to send my dad money or even send them foodstuff. I had to hide and do it. One day, he found out about an amount I sent through MoMo to my dad, and he didn’t talk to me for days. That’s how far the hatred went.

My dad is sick and in bed. This is the time I need the benevolence of my husband, but he tells me, “I didn’t ask him to fall sick.”

My husband could give me money for no reason at all, but today, even when I’m broke and I ask him, he tells me no. “I should give you money to send to your dad? No.”

What I earn goes directly into his medical bills. My younger siblings are not able to help because they are not there yet. I even have to send them money. It’s hard for me at this moment. My husband provides for me, but that’s how far it goes. My mom gets nothing from me or from my husband. According to my husband, whatever my mom receives will be beneficial to my dad.

I’ve begged him to let bygones be bygones so we can even go there and visit him. He should just go and say hello to him to shame my dad. He said, “I’m not a university graduate. He doesn’t need my visit.”

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

At this point, I want to bring in a third person, but everyone I’ve spoken to tells me I should let my dad apologize to my husband first, and everything will be easy from there. My dad apologize? He would rather die. I’m now the one suffering, looking at the two men I love the most in this world go against each other.

I can hardly sleep. When I see a call from my sister, my heart skips several beats. I’m scared she will call and give me the harshest news about my dad, but it’s always about money, and that’s equally scary.

How do I go about this issue to bring these men together? Even if they won’t shake hands, what will I do to bring them to a place where there’s no enmity between them but mutual respect for each other?

—Rose

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******