I read all the comments, but there’s something I need to say about one in particular. Someone wrote that I may have truly cheated. Whatever that comment said, I never did, and I didn’t do anything against my marriage. I made a vow to be faithful to him and him alone. So no, I didn’t go behind my husband’s back. I didn’t cheat on him.

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I went to an extreme, yes, to find out what was really in my husband’s mind about us. What would you have had me do? He is my husband. I loved him. I was willing to fight to win back the man I fell in love with.

The truth is, as some people pointed out, he had already checked out of the marriage. He was just looking for an excuse to carry out what he wanted to do, and sadly, I freely gave it to him. Until now, I carried the guilt for what I said, thinking he would be reasonable enough to see there was a problem we needed to fix.

But my husband even had the nerve to tell me he lost interest last September. He said he was wondering why I hadn’t left once I noticed him pulling away. So he knew what he was doing. He knew my heart was breaking. He knew I was shattering into pieces.

The truth I’ve had to face is that you can’t force a man to love a woman.

Whatever happens after this, I know in my mind that I tried. I want the world to know, and all the “pick me” women and men to know, I did everything I could under the sun to revive my marriage. But I couldn’t force a man to stay with me.

Honestly, I am relieved that I’ve shared this.

—Dorcas

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