I met Grace online. Our conversations started with strangers who were weary of each other and slowly evolved into a friendship. Through that friendship, she opened up to me about her past relationship. It ended with her getting pregnant by a man who didn’t want to be a father. It was a difficult decision but she chose to keep the child. After childbirth, her ex washed his hands off anything to do with the baby. So Grace was the only one taking care of their child. I already liked her, but learning about her struggles as a single mother moved me to get closer to her. It stirred up a sense of responsibility in me. I don’t understand it but I wanted to protect her, and do everything possible to ease her burden. Maybe that was the beginning of my love for her. My feelings for her were so intense that I asked her to be my girlfriend. She didn’t drag her feet or sing the popular anthem, “I am going to think about it.” She just said yes, immediately.

After she agreed to my proposal we made time to meet. We enjoyed each other’s company so much. So we arranged for her to come and spend some days at my house. She came to spend three days with me, and everything was just so perfect. Grace didn’t have a job when I met her. And while I didn’t mind giving her money for her upkeep, I wanted her to have her own money as well. So I spoke to a few people in my circle and one person offered her a job. I thought her new financial status would ease the financial burden on me when it comes to her upkeep, but I was wrong.

READ MORE: My Mother Is Turning Me In To A Gold Digger

My girlfriend insisted that I continue to take care of her as though she wasn’t working. It wasn’t only her, I took care of her child too. And then she tried to get me to take care of her father as well, but I drew the line there. I asked her; “Why do you think I went through all this trouble to get you a job? What are you doing with your money that you can’t take care of your father with it?” She responded, “Haven’t you seen that I have been using it to buy household appliances?” “Then stop buying those items and use your money for more important things,” I advised.  She told me, “The items may not seem important now but they will make our lives easier in future.” That statement made me believe that she saw a future in our relationship. Which made me more committed to her.

However, I was dealt with a jolt of reality when she was called to her hometown. Grace packed all the items that were supposedly meant to make our lives better in future, and took them away. When I asked her about it she said, “I want to keep them close so nothing bad happens to them.” Her explanation made me feel insulted, especially when I found out that she had gone to rent an apartment in her hometown. And then she got a job at a guest house. Which only explains that she had everything planned. Her visit to her hometown was not an impromptu call. And that really hurt my feelings. Because, while I was planning my life around her, she was planning her life without me. She didn’t even accord me the respect to inform me about her decision.

At this point, I don’t know her intentions toward our relationship. She goes about collecting numbers from men. When I complain it turns into an argument, and she never admits that her behaviour is wrong. No matter what she does, she believes she is right. Even when her actions hurt or inconvenience me, she is right to do them. When I try to reason with her she would shout, “You can’t tell me what to do, we are not married.”

What Do You Look For In A Partner You Want To Settle With?–Beads Media

Recently she told me, “I want to send my child to school. So prepare yourself to bear the cost of everything.” I don’t understand why she expects me to take care of her child through school when she is always quick to tell me that we are not married. That aside, her rent is due and she is asking that I help her cover the cost. I told her, “Instead of asking that I help you pay your rent in Takoradi, why don’t you come back to town and live with me? We can live our lives together and make plans toward marriage.” She told me, “I won’t live with you until you marry me first.” I love her and I want to marry her but her behaviour is scaring me. That’s why I want her to live with me first. I believe that I will know more about her character when we cohabitate. Besides, if she moves in with me we will save the money for rent and invest it in our marriage. Am I wrong to think that way?

— Kwame

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