My boyfriend doesn’t believe anything that I tell him. No matter the nature of the issue, if it’s coming out of my mouth, it sounds like a lie in his ears. In case you are wondering, we don’t have any history where he caught me in a lie. Neither do I have a habit of lying to him, he just doesn’t believe me.

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When I try to defend myself, he tells me I don’t respect. That’s how he is. Everything I do is disrespectful in his eyes. Even when I try to tell him I am not being disrespectful he would say, “You are doing it again. You are challenging me. A woman who respects her man won’t do that.”

He doesn’t know how to let things slide. Even the smallest things would get riled up and we would end up having a disagreement. Of course, he would wave the, “You don’t respect me,” card to silence me.

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Just recently, I was unwell. Even when he called me I sounded very sick. He didn’t ask if I was okay. It was as if he didn’t notice that I wasn’t well. So now I had to tell him, “Today I am not feeling well.” He didn’t mind me. He just continued the conversation as if he didn’t hear me.

The next day, I mentioned it again when we were talking. His response shocked me. No empathy. Even if you don’t care about me and won’t ask, “What’s wrong with you?” What happened to politely saying, “Get well soon”?

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Rather he said, “You like complaining too much.”

I was hurt. This is a man I am planning marriage with. Our traditional marriage ceremony is a few weeks away. If he thinks I am complaining when I tell him the state of my health, then what would I ever say for him to take me seriously?

—Vivi

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