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We started dating when she was in nursing school. We dated for two years before she completed it with a pregnancy. I didn’t know what happened, but her mother got to know about the pregnancy before I did. Her mom was so angry she didn’t want to see my face. I accepted responsibility. I wanted to even go and marry her after delivery, but her mom kicked against it. My girlfriend told me her mom’s reason was tribal.

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When she delivered, I went with my family to name the child. Her mother didn’t shake hands with me or my family. She wore a frown until the program was done. Later she told me that she didn’t ask us to come and name the child. I accepted my situation that she wasn’t going to allow me near her family, but I had a daughter there so I did what a father ought to do.

I was there on birthdays. I was there on her first day at school. I paid fees. I sent monthly child care. When our child was four years old, my ex traveled abroad to work. She left our daughter with her mother, and from there, this woman refused to accept the child care. I complained to my ex. I took the issue to DOVVSU because the woman was doing everything within her power to deny me access to the child.

At DOVVSU, my ex’s mother made a claim that before her daughter traveled, she confessed to her that the child wasn’t mine so she shouldn’t allow access. I laughed at her assertion. Right there I called my ex. She didn’t pick up. The next time I called again, I’d been blocked.

I was like, “What the hell is going on?”

We were advised that it’s the court that can handle the issue, so I said yes. I’ll pursue it. The court demanded DNA to be done, and it’s true – the girl isn’t mine. I broke down to pieces. I couldn’t eat for more than a week. I lost weight. No words would suffice. I told my ex’s mom that she should get ready to pay every penny I’d spent on the child. She said, “I’m ready. Bring it. How much is it that we can’t pay? Even if I have to sell myself, I’ll do it to pay you off.”

How The Death Of Our Son Nearly Brought Our Marriage To An End

On second thought, I won’t demand my money. My ex is abroad and can afford to pay. They can pay the money but not the value of the money. For all the pain I’ve gone through, I’ll make them pay. The law can’t help, so I’ll seek natural justice. My ex will sleep in her bed one night and wake up in her mother’s bed the next morning. She won’t understand it, but to me, that will mean justice.

—Kalou

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