I have entered trouble. I somehow believe my ex-boyfriend, who belongs to a spiritual lodge, is responsible for the consistent bleeding I have been experiencing over the past two years. He says he knows nothing about it, but I honestly don’t know what to believe.
I dated a man years ago, Kay, who was about 11 years older than me. He had a daughter, whom I also helped take care of. Initially, I didn’t even like him, let alone consider dating him. People around me had terrible things to say about him. One day, I woke up, called him and accepted his proposal. I had a dream the night before in which I was dating him, so I interpreted it as a sign that I should say yes to him.
This was in 2016. I had just completed senior high school and was working when he became my boyfriend. He took on the responsibility of caring for me. He helped pay my admission fees to college and supported me whenever I needed help.
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The problems started when I found out he was having an affair with my friend. I knew he had a thing for almost every woman in a skirt, but this one hit closer to home. I complained and confronted him about it, and his reaction shocked me. He didn’t just deny it. He also broke up with me.
Although I knew he was a womaniser, he made me feel loved, and in that moment, it was heartbreaking to realise that I was going to lose him. We weren’t age mates, but we played together and had fun. He ordered me not to complain. “As long as I provide for you, you don’t have anything to worry about or complain about.”
I begged him, not just because I loved him as a boyfriend, but also because I was struggling with the thought of who would help me if he turned his back on me. He promised to continue supporting me until I completed school, but as far as the relationship was concerned, he said he couldn’t continue with me.
I had hoped to become a nurse, but he wouldn’t allow it. He said, “Nurses don’t have time for their families, and when you become my wife, you should have time for your family.” He suggested that I go for teacher training instead, and I obliged. I didn’t have the money to pay my own bills, and he was willing to support me, so I felt I had no choice.
He eventually came back to me, but after a year, he broke up with me again. I later heard that he had gotten another woman pregnant. That hurt even more because I kept wondering whether he would have chosen me if I had gotten pregnant for him. We were intimate and never used protection, yet I never missed my period even once.
Again, I begged him to choose me, yet he left.
I completed my teacher training and was posted to the North. I packed my bags and moved there, trying to start afresh while nursing a broken heart in a strange place. In my attempts to forget him and reassure myself that I wasn’t barren, I seduced a man I found amusing. I got pregnant but terminated the pregnancy. I only wanted to be sure that I wasn’t barren, as I had started to believe.
About a year later, Kay came back, asking me to date him again and help him take care of his two children. I said no. He went around telling people that after everything he had done for me, I still refused to take him back. He has even told people that he is going to show me.
One day, we met, and we ended up doing “Shuperu”. I returned home, and everything was fine. Then I developed a serious infection. I had to get injections to treat it. But ever since that encounter, I have been bleeding heavily.
I have done an ultrasound and a pelvic scan, but the results only showed a simple cyst, which the doctors said could not be responsible for the bleeding. I have called Kay and told him what I have been experiencing since our last encounter, but he insists he has nothing to do with it.
It has been almost two years, and I have been bleeding on and off. I suspect he has something to do with it. He was a scammer who belonged to a lodge and said many times, when I refused to get back with him, that I would never hold a child or ever get married if I didn’t allow myself to end up with him.
When A Man Cheats And Doesn’t Disrespect You, It Should Be OK
Now that I think about it, each breakup happened when I prayed to God to let His will prevail in the relationship.
I need help now. Is there anyone here who knows a remedy for what I am going through? I am currently outside Ghana, and I would have gone to any length to get medication for this condition. Unfortunately, once I return home, I may not be able to travel back because of my documents.
Am I wrong for refusing to accept him and help him take care of his children? And is there any way he can help me find a cure for this bleeding?
—Paulina
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