I Went From Having Two Women Fighting For My Attention To Begging One To Love Me

Where did a poor, broke man get the audacity to propose to a girl he had just met? Well, when the heart is involved, you get a different kind of audacity. I just liked her from the very beginning, so I went for it. There was absolutely nothing to my name. I had just completed tertiary education, and instead of waiting around for a white-collar job, I took up a teaching job at a private school to survive.

She was kind and grounded, and she saw something in me that I hadn’t yet seen in myself. We started dating, and for two years, she stood by me through the struggles, the late nights, and the silent prayers. When the opportunity came for me to secure a permanent government job, she didn’t just cheer me on. She supported me financially. She believed in my future more than I did.

The job took me to another region, and distance became our new reality. We stayed in touch, but something changed. At my new workplace, I met another woman. It started casually, with conversations and a little laughter, but gradually, it grew into something more.

I was still with my girlfriend, but I was also falling for someone new. I told myself I’d figure things out eventually. I’d make a choice. I just didn’t know how or when.

My girlfriend eventually found out through my phone that I was cheating on her, so she left me. I did everything I could to convince her to stay. I went to her friends, her sister, and even her parents. They said they’d talk to her, and I believe they did. But when she’s made up her mind about something, nothing can change it. And that was how she left me.

I returned to work and told the side chick. I told her about my girlfriend, the affair, and the heartbreak. She sort of knew she was the side chick, so she wasn’t angry with me. Instead, she was patient and even gave me ideas on how to get my girlfriend back. I tried everything, but nothing worked. Then she told me to go to the mountain. If the mountain wouldn’t come to Mohammed, then Mohammed had to go to the mountain. So I did.

I took the night bus and arrived in town the following morning. When my neighbours saw me around, they came bearing news. My girlfriend had been seeing someone else, and they were getting serious about dating.

I didn’t want to believe it, so I went to see her. She confirmed it. Then, we ended up on the bed. I asked her what we were now, and she told me the breakup still stood and that there was nothing between us anymore. It felt like she had used me, especially when I thought we just had made up through intimacy. She said I’d hurt her and that she couldn’t be with a cheating man, even though I kept telling her I had changed.

I counted my losses, returned to work, and decided to make the side chick my main girlfriend. But she, too, has been troublesome. Very troublesome. All this while, she has had a sugar daddy funding her lifestyle. That didn’t matter to me initially. I wanted to fight for her and show her attention. I wanted to win her over with peace, gifts, and lots of attention. But I didn’t have the money to match what she was used to, so she barely paid me any attention. She gave me the same bare minimum.

When A Man Cheats And Doesn’t Disrespect You, It Should Be OK

She says I’m not serious. She says I’m still stuck in the past, that I left her to chase a ghost. And she’s right. I did. The sugar daddy has won. When I think about it, I find myself losing my mind.

I’m losing someone I don’t want to lose. I was playing two women, but look at me now. Neither of them has chosen me, and that says a lot about me.

—Collins

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