
I’m Nama’s first love. We’ve been together for five years now. I know she loves me as much as I love her. When I left college for the university, we had some challenges with communication. If I delayed in replying to her messages or missed her calls, she would immediately assume I was with another woman. That wasn’t true. I was just trying to settle into my new environment. I explained this to her several times but she never understood. This misunderstanding eventually caused us to break up.
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The good news is that we reconnected when I completed my first degree. Unlike before, when she used to be hard on me, she had become softer. Our conversations flowed easily. I liked the new her. She always reminded me that I was her first love and that no matter what she did, she couldn’t forget me. The feeling is mutual. She is the reason I truly understand what love means.
When we reconnected, we were still in different towns, but she came over and we spent a few days together. We had a lot of fun. Everything went smoothly, especially our communication.
During one of our talks, she told me that while we were apart, she dated another guy. I didn’t mind. In fact, she even broke up with that guy during her visit to my place. She did it because I asked if we could be together again. She admitted that despite being with him, her heart yearned for me.
“Things were not working with him anyway.”
We often shared stories about our time apart. One time, she even asked me to send her photos of the lady I dated during our breakup, and I did. She also told me a bit about her ex.
One evening, she brought up how amazing the sex we had during her visit was. She said it was much better than when we first started dating, and even teased that I must have been doing it a lot during our separation, since my performance had improved.
That’s when things took a turn. She went on to describe her sexual experience with her ex-boyfriend in detail— how they talked during the act, how sweet things were, how they would lie in bed and cuddle afterwards. She even mentioned that he made her ejaculate, something I’ve never been able to do for her.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a jealous boyfriend. Hearing about all her escapades broke me. The way she spoke showed me she truly enjoyed intimacy with him, maybe even more than with me. That’s why it hurt. I’ve always wanted to be first in every aspect of my woman’s love life.
It’s true that I also enjoyed doing it with my ex. She even had a higher libido than Namy. She was amazing in bed, but as a mature person, I knew not to share such details with Namy. Why couldn’t she observe the same protocol? Her stories about the other guy have planted some kind of competition in the mind.
Now, when I’m doing it with her, all I think about is how to do better than her ex. That’s how badly my ego has been bruised.
One time, she sensed my mood while we were in the throes of passion. She started immediately. She said she didn’t mean to get in my head. She only wanted us to spice up our sex life.
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I know she meant well but her words fill me with doubt. I can’t shake the thought that she could still sleep with him. I know how much women value a man who satisfies them sexually.
I don’t want to see her differently. It would affect the way I treat her. So I have asked her to give me some space to cool off. My mind is on fire. Should I quit the relationship, or should I try to fix things?
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The truth is, I’m the kind of guy who struggles to commit to a woman who has been with another man. But I chose to stay committed to her because our story is different. She is the only woman I’ve ever put real confidence in. I even thought she would be my final stop.
She’s that special to me. She has never been like other women I’ve met. It’s just that what she told me has killed something inside me. How do I handle my emotions so I don’t hurt her?
—Edmund
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I don’t know why we ladies talk anyhow sometimes oo, hmmmn may God help us oo
Son, you must run the race and we wish you the best. Always give her space to reconnect with that guy for better analysis.
Mature guy my foot!
You “are the kind of guy who struggles to commit to a lady who has been with another man”
It’s not the lady sir even though I admit she may have talked senselessly a bit. You aren’t a saint yourself and you were her first. Even if not her, you have no right to see any lady as you see them so far you have slept with another.
Change your mentality first and as for her, speak to her about it. She honestly may not know what she is doing wrong by comparing you to another but you can’t keep competing with an image.
Edmund,
A woman squirts
A man ejaculates
Your biggest mistake was to reconnect with each other knowing you had been in sexual affairs with other people whilst apart.
Plus you made things worst by entertaining the “sex with my other partner” discussion.