My friend is having an affair with her baby daddy — the same man who refused to marry her even though she is the mother of his children. He chose to marry another woman, but now he is back in her life and has turned her into a side chick. If you ask me, that’s very disrespectful.

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But then again, that is how their relationship has always been. If it were a TV show, it would have been painful to watch. This guy disrespects my friend anyhow. When things ended between them, he called her all sorts of demeaning names — things a man shouldn’t say to any woman, let alone the woman who bore his children.

He then proceeded to her family and insulted them too. I am not exaggerating when I say her entire family, especially her parents. I won’t go into details about the manner and ways in which he disgraced them. That’s why I believe she is dishonoring them with this seedy affair she is having.

Honestly, I feel sorry for her, because if she had any self-respect, she wouldn’t have let him touch her again. It’s not as if he is doing it with the promise of marriage. It will never happen. He is married to someone else. She is just a good time to him.

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The other day I asked her, “Why are you doing disgusting things with a man who degraded you and your family in so many ways? Have you forgotten the things he said to you?”

I even went ahead to remind her of some of the insults. She got angry and picked a fight with me. I was only trying to help her, but I guess that man’s “diɔk” is more important to her than her self-worth.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

I hate the fact that she is doing this to herself. Whenever we are out having girls’ time, she keeps talking about the fact that her family cannot know she is entertaining her baby daddy.

I know she is an adult and I should let her live her life, but honestly, how can you be at peace with yourself when you’re watching someone you care about destroy themselves? Reminding her of the past did not help. What else can I do to make her see sense and stop the affair?

—Ivory 

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