I was drawn to her because of her sweet and charming nature. Everything about her is lovely. When she smiles, you can’t help but smile back at her. When she speaks, her voice is as soft as butter. Anything she asks me to do, I try my best to do it for her. She is a pure soul so I don’t like disappointing her. Left to me alone, she will wear her infectious smile all the time. No frown. No sadness. Just happiness all the way.
Because of her innocent demeanour, I trust her completely. In the year and a half we’ve dated, I never questioned her actions. I never had any reason to, in the first place. She could tell me, “There’s a rock descending upon you,” and I wouldn’t look up before ducking for cover.
When it came to her relationships with other men, I was never insecure. I felt I was doing enough as a man to keep her happy and satisfied. That was until the last time we had shuperu. I did everything right, I believe. Even her response let me know that I did a good job.
After everything, she didn’t say whatever was on her mind. She waited till we were apart. Then she called me and said, “There is something I have been meaning to tell you. It’s about our sex life.” When she said this I was concerned. I thought she was going to say that she had been faking pleasure all along. I hear women do that sometimes.
However, her problem was different. She told me, “Every time we do it, I feel so guilty. I am not able to pray and read my Bible with a clean conscience. I feel like I have soiled myself with sin.” I asked what she wanted us to do and she responded, “I want us to stop doing it.” She didn’t tell me for how long we were supposed to practice this life of chastity.
However, my love for her is stronger than any confusion she causes me. Besides, I respect her choices, even if they inconvenience me. So I agreed to do the sexual purity thing with her.
Before I realized it, my woman started changing. At first, we would be on a call and she would tell me, “I will call you when I get to work.” And she would stick to her word and call. However, there came a time when she would promise to call me when she got to work but she wouldn’t do it. I’m the one who would have to call her before she says, “Sorry, I forgot to call you.”
This made me suspicious. I began to wonder who was occupying her mind to make her forget to call me. Then one Thursday night, I got a strong instinct to check if the number she uses for calls is indeed not on WhatsApp as she claimed.
She had told me right from the beginning of the relationship that the number wasn’t active on WhatsApp. Her excuse was, “I am not much of a social media person. Everyone I need to talk to, I call. So what’s the point of WhatsApp?” It was a choice. I didn’t doubt her, and neither did I try to talk her out of it.
So imagine my surprise when I checked and realized that her number was registered on WhatsApp but she found me first and blocked me. That’s why I couldn’t text her on the app when we started talking. I confronted her and the way she behaved made me question my sanity.
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She vehemently denied ever owning a WhatsApp account. “What will I be doing on that app? Do I have time to be watching other people live their lives on their statuses?” Even with all the proof I have shown her, I am surprised that she continues to deny my claims.
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What will make a woman block her man on WhatsApp and lie that she didn’t have an account? Why would anyone do that to their partner in the first place? I am beginning to wonder if her behaviour has anything to do with the shuperu we are no longer having. Could it be that there’s another man in the picture but I was fooled by her sweet nature so I didn’t notice?
This is not the first woman to have lied to me and betrayed me. I was done with women until I met her. I took one look at her soft demeanour and concluded that she wouldn’t even hurt a fly so I was safe. But here we are. I have been hurt once again by yet another woman. I have now gotten to the stage where I am developing so much hatred for all women in this world. Please, help me. How do I overcome this pain?
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—Kevin
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Kevin, my friend, it sounds like you’ve been caught in a whirlwind of sweet charm and baffling mysteries! First, let me commend your willingness to embrace the unexpected. It’s not every day a woman asks to hit pause on the shuperu sessions due to a sudden urge to protect her spiritual purity. That’s some dedication to righteousness!
Now, about the WhatsApp situation – that’s like discovering a secret room in your own house. She blocked you on WhatsApp? Well, it could be she’s engaging in top-secret conversations about…umm, Bible study? She might be forming a secret society of Bible-reading enthusiasts, or maybe she’s just really into those daily devotional statuses.
But seriously, it’s important to communicate openly with her, because relationships thrive on trust and honesty. While she may be hiding WhatsApp from you, it’s unlikely she’s got a secret life as an international spy or a superhero. Hopefully, you two can sort this out with a heart-to-heart conversation.
And, Kevin, let’s not let one mysterious WhatsApp block color your perspective on all women. There are plenty of women out there who won’t leave you questioning your sanity. Sometimes people have their own reasons, but it doesn’t mean everyone’s out to deceive you. In the meantime, keep your sense of humor intact, and who knows, maybe someday you’ll look back on this and laugh… or write a bestselling book about the “WhatsApp Conundrum”!
-Atieno-
My friend looks are deceptive. Besides not all women are the same. You problem is you are drawn to physical looks rather than one’s brain. In every relationship you got see beyond what the eyes see , listen to the person’s tone of voice and his action before you come to conclude who the person is. The moment she started such thing you were supposed to see that she was no good news but you took her demeanour and words as if they were done and spoken by Jesus. You only get to overcome pain when you wisen up.
Your situation looks like that of a rice cooker you have never used before. When using such an equipment you don’t know how the cooking of the rice will turn out ,you cook little rice to see the outcome. If it works then you are good to go but if not then there’s less rice wasted That’s how you treat an uncertain relationship. Your supposed relationship is like the new rice cooker that you don’t know really and the little rice is the little effort you put in it. If the rice cooker cooks it well and you have become familiarised with it that is when you cook all the cups of rice you intend to cook. The cups of rice is your dedication and commitment. This is how we treat life.