For seven years, I’ve been the provider in my house. Yes, I’m the man of the house, and this duty, according to society, falls naturally at my feet, but when I say I’ve been the provider, I mean I’ve been the provider of all things in the home that we live in.

My wife had a son before we met. The father of her son abandoned them even before the son could learn to mention his own name. She was a teacher who loved her son and cared for him with the little she had. I was convinced she would be a good mother, judging from how she cared for her kid.

READ ALSO: I Was Going to an All-Night Service When I Found My Husband’s Car at a Hotel

She didn’t put a foot wrong when we were dating. That also convinced me that I had a gem in my life. We didn’t discuss marriage, but deep within me, I knew we would go far. Before our relationship could turn a year old, she got pregnant. We were disappointed in ourselves for putting the cart before the horse. All night, we thought of what to do, the direction to take our lives and even thought of letting the pregnancy go.

She told me, “My first child didn’t have a father. I wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to the second one too. Let’s get married. Anything small will do, that’s if we are going to have this child.”

I agreed but promised her marriage would happen right after the baby was born. Her dad didn’t agree. Her mom pleaded with me to do everything I could to marry her before the pregnancy began to show. I went back to the drawing board, checked my finances and checked how much I needed to borrow to be able to marry her.

When I told my parents about the situation, they said no. The fact that she already had a child made my dad disappointed in me. My mom asked if that was how short my aim in life was. How I convinced them to accept my relationship within a month is another story on its own. It was long and tiring, but finally, they both cracked and allowed the wedding to go on. It was simple, short and honouring to both of us.

When she was coming into the marriage, she came with her son. He was six years old. I worked like a bull. I travelled far and near to do extra work to earn extra income. She went to school to teach and came home early to tend to the house. I provided everything the house needed, including paying her child’s fees and taking care of him as my own. I did all that, praying I should never meet any problem bigger than my income could solve, and if I did meet such problems, my wife would be there to help.

She said it very often when I asked her about it. She said she was putting money away for the dry season and for periods when pockets would be empty. I trusted her. She didn’t earn much as a teacher, and she didn’t do anything extra, but I believed since I’d taken all her burdens away, she should be able to save.

Eight years later, I met some trouble. Business went bad. Not only that, but other people’s money was involved. They lacked the patience to wait for me to raise the money through business for them. When time kept moving and they were not getting what I promised them, they started agitating and calling for their money. Some had the police call me. Others found me in public places and tried to embarrass me, and there were those who threatened to take me to their hometown.

I raised the money and needed only GHC10,000. When I told my wife, she screamed, “Eiii, where am I going to get that money? I’m only a teacher ooo. Or you’ve forgotten?” I asked, “So how much can you give me?” She said she had to check her account, but she didn’t believe what was there would even be up to half of the money I was requesting.

She came to tell me she was closing an investment account in five working days and would give me GHC5,000. I waited. I prayed. I got excuses every day. The bank said this, the bank said that. Finally, she said the bank said she was withdrawing the money before maturity, so she was going to lose a lot of the money. I had paid everyone off except these three people who were going hard after my reputation, even on social media.

I reached out to my dad, and he gave me that loan. Case closed. I breathed again. For the first time in many months, I slept soundly and slept for long. Not owing anyone in this world is an underrated blessing.

Just about three days after I’d paid off those I owed, I saw my wife had made a deposit of GHC8,000 into an account bearing her brother’s name. I was confused. “Or the money came later and she gave it to her brother instead?”

To find the truth, I had to go through her phone. She gave that money to her brother to start a business. It was a loan she gave him. In their conversation, she was giving a stern warning to her brother, telling him that was all the money she had in this world. That was a lie. A week before that, she had sent GHC2,000 to her father and made another series of MoMo transactions I couldn’t tell where they were going.

I asked about the deposit. I was calm, acting unhurt. She said it was money her brother gave her to keep for him, and she sent it back to him. I told her I read her messages. Her face changed instantly. I narrated all the transactions she had made, even months ago, and where that money went. She started stuttering. “So I’m the one you’re being wicked to after everything, right?”

She said she didn’t know I needed that money badly. She’s my wife. I told her everything and how those guys were on my neck. She still insisted she didn’t know it was serious and also that her brother had asked for the money before I made the request.

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

I’ve given her two ultimatums. The first is to send her son away to his father as soon as possible, or she leaves my house with him. The second is that she should never open her mouth to ask me for help for the rest of her life. The very day she does that, our marriage comes to an end.

She’s still apologizing, telling me it’s harsh for me to say that. I’m not changing my mind, but I also know this marriage is bruised beyond repair. To have a wife who can’t help in times of need is like jumping over fire with cotton stuck to your bottom. I’ve learned to make better financial choices and also know my wife is my worst financial mistake. It will take God and His miraculous work to put this marriage back where it belongs.

—Sebastian    

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******