My wife lost her job just before we got married. That didn’t stop us. We went ahead and got married anyway, hoping right after marriage she was going to find another job. A few weeks after marriage, she got pregnant. I knew it was going to be a long way for her to get a job, so we started thinking about what she could do in the meantime.

She told me she didn’t want to think about the short term but would rather we thought about the long term, where she was doing her own job and not waking up early to go to work. So she would have time for the family. I thought it was a good idea, so I asked what she wanted to do.

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My wife was very good with hairstyling. She could look in the mirror and style her own hair or even braid her own hair, so she said she would like to start the hair business. We secured a place close to a school at a very huge rent fee per year. We started buying everything she would need to start the business.

A friend of mine was also into hair sales and was getting her stuff from China. I spoke to this friend to give us quality hair on credit, and she agreed. We would sell the hair and later refund her money. She didn’t even give us a time period to pay. She was that liberal with us for the sake of friendship.

We launched the shop with pomp and pageantry to announce that we had arrived. Business picked up right from the start, so my wife had good things to say every day when she returned from the shop. The pregnancy was also growing, so at some point, I advised her to either get one trusted person to run the shop with her or make one of the girls there support her in that direction.

She never did, telling me she couldn’t trust anyone. All of a sudden, she would go to work today and wouldn’t go tomorrow. She said she felt tired. She told me the baby was stressing her. Some days, she would remain in bed all day doing nothing.

After work, I would pass by the shop and speak with the ladies and see how sales were doing. Because I couldn’t do that all the time, I spoke to one of the ladies and placed the shop in her hands. The lady was doing very well, reporting sales to me and ensuring the shop ran smoothly.

When my wife realized I had made her the leader, she got angry, asking me why that girl and not any one of them. Right in front of me, she told me, “I won’t be surprised if there’s something going on between you two. That’s why you’ve been going there in my absence.”

She sacked the girl and still didn’t go to the shop as often as she used to. By the time she delivered and the rent was almost due, there there was no money in the bank. The bank balance was in the negatives. I couldn’t raise any other money to renew the rent, so we had to close the shop.

My friend who gave me the hair on credit asked for her money, and we couldn’t pay. I asked my wife, “So what happened to all the sales? Why is there nothing in the bank?” She said the ladies stole everything. To maintain my friendship, I had to pay from my pocket.

Our child was two years old, and my wife was still not working. She still wanted to work for herself, so I asked again, “What else do you want to do?” She answered, “Have you realized that in the neighborhood, there’s no big supermarket around here? Why don’t we start one?”

I took a loan from the office and added it to my savings to be able to open the shop. From our house to the shop is like a ten-minute walk, but a few months later, my wife started closing the shop and giving me crazy reasons why she couldn’t open yesterday and today.

I got angry. I reminded her what she did for us to lose the first shop. She used the child as an excuse. “I took him to the hospital. Do you want him to die because of the shop?” she said. I answered, “What happened after the hospital?”

She couldn’t answer. One day, I was there when she said she was bringing a cousin to help with the shop. I was very happy. At least the shop was going to be opened consistently. She brought the girl and started using her for house chores she herself should have done. This girl would wake up, sweep, clean, cook, prepare the boy for school, take him to school, come back and continue house chores while the store stayed closed.

I realized my wife wanted to be a madam rather than be a wife who worked to support the family. The shop struggled to sell because it was closed more often than it was opened. She squandered the money, and the shop became virtually empty. Just two years later, the shop was down on its knees.

I asked her, “So now what?” She answered, “I will think of something soon and tell you. Something that will work no matter what.”

Her mom had been sick, and she was always asking me for money to send to her mom. One Sunday, I told her to visit her mom with me. She said, “Oh, that’s not necessary. She will be fine very soon.” I insisted for days before she agreed.

We got there and met her father, who welcomed us. I asked about her mother, and her father said she had gone to the market. I asked, “Is she no longer sick?” He responded, “Has she ever been sick?”

I looked at my wife, and she looked at me and then turned away. I told my father-in-law, “I’m bringing your daughter where I took her. She doesn’t want to be a wife. I’m bringing her back so I can marry a woman who’s ready to be a wife.”

I narrated the whole story to her dad, and the man was speechless. He said, “Your mom is sixty, and she still goes to the market to sell, and you don’t want to do anything?” And then he turned to me and said, “My son, go home and marry another woman. Invite me, and I will come with a gift. This one here is a stone thrown to break your head.”

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I got up and started to leave. She screamed, “You’re leaving me here for who to take care of your son?” I turned back, lifted my son and placed him on my shoulders, and started going. She followed, fighting, begging, crying, telling me not to embarrass her in front of her family. I kept walking, sat in a car and drove back home.

Marriage ended. I still have my son with me. I don’t know if I’m ever going to marry again. I’ve seen enough to believe I can do this life without a woman. When push comes to shove, I will hire a maid.

—Mark    

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