I was transferred here to work. A few months after being here, I met Richmond at a wedding a colleague invited me to and before the wedding ended, we exchanged contacts. I learned that he lived in Accra, but he came from this town. I told him we were living parallel lives because I had also lived in Accra until my job transferred me.

Just a week after talking, we both knew what we wanted from each other, but we were careful not to rush into it. The relationship built slowly and reached a crescendo when I visited Accra and spent a night with him. He said I was the woman fit for his ambition. It was the first time I had heard that from a man. I knew he had political dreams. I also knew he was starting a business on the side of what he was already doing. To say I was the woman fit for such ambition made me swoon.

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When he came to town from Accra, he took me home to meet his mum. His dad had died long ago, and it was only his mum who lived in the family house. The house was very big and located in the centre of town. His mum loved me instantly because I had the name of her mother. She called me “Ma”.

After the introduction, his mum told me her home was my home. I visited on Saturdays to help her with her house chores. We cooked, and I carried some home.

One day, during such a visit, she told me, “Ma, why don’t you move in with me? It’s such a big house, and all the rooms here are empty while you’re paying rent. Or you don’t like it here?”

I told her I would discuss it with Richmond and pick his mind on it. Right there, she called Richmond.

She gave me the phone and asked me to tell him. Eventually, he said it was a good idea and that it would even help me bond with his mum and also learn her qualities for the future when we got married. A few weeks after that discussion, I moved in.

I called her Aunt Becky, but she said she was my daughter, so I should call her Becky. It was awkward at first, then it became funny. I would call her Becky, and she would respond, “Ma.” The two of us could laugh like mates.

When Richmond’s sisters came around, they treated me like I was part of them. I lived with her for about six months, and she asked me if I wanted to marry her son. I nodded.

She called Richmond and told him, “I’m living with your girlfriend, and that doesn’t speak well of me as a mother. I’m entertaining immorality, and that’s not fine. Let’s take her home to meet her family so they will know she’s under our wings.”

Richmond listens to his mum. She only has to cough, and Richmond would say, “I understand.” They took me home to do the knocking rite so we would be official. We said we were going to have the wedding a year later because he had a trip to embark on and was preparing for it, but Aunt Becky insisted we do the wedding before that trip.

So we started preparations towards our wedding. Aunt Becky took charge of the whole process and promised me she would give me the wedding she had dreamed of but never had.

One month before the wedding, Aunt Becky called me to her room. She didn’t look like her bubbly self. She was struggling for words, and it showed.

Finally, she told me, “Richmond called. My heart is broken, and I don’t know how to tell you this. I’m even embarrassed.”

My heart started beating like crazy.

She said, “Richmond got another woman pregnant.”

My racing heart stopped beating.

“He called to tell me last night,” she continued. “He doesn’t want to keep it a secret. I think the pregnant woman doesn’t want to remain a secret affair. He’s saying it before we find out from the outside.”

It didn’t feel like I was alive.

I went into my room and called his phone. I asked him to tell me everything about the affair. I asked for it, but everything he said pierced through my heart.

He said the woman pushed herself on him. He said it was an accident and he wasn’t thinking straight. He begged me not to change my mind about the wedding.

The next morning, I told his mum that I wasn’t going ahead with the wedding again. Surprisingly, she didn’t try to talk me out of it. She said she understood me and that she would have been surprised if I had said anything different.

“But give it some time. Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

Richmond came home. He tried to convince me to go ahead with the wedding. I said no because all my life, I had never dreamed of marrying a man who had a child.

“If we got married and you brought a child home, I still would have left you,” I told him.

The wedding didn’t happen.

I wanted to leave his mother’s house, but Aunt Becky told me our relationship had no connection with my issues with her son.

“You’re going to abandon your daughter because of this?”

I cried. She begged me not to leave, but I knew the relationship would be complicated if I stayed. Every person I spoke to asked me to leave if I didn’t want to marry Richmond.

I decided to stay.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

The lady has delivered. I was part of the delegation that went to name the child. Richmond was so restless about my presence, but I didn’t mind. The child is now one year old. I’m still living with Aunt Becky.

She has never tried to say anything about my relationship with her son, but Richmond wants me to marry him. He comes home and spends all night trying to get me to change my mind.

He looks like a changed person. He talks like a man who has learned his lessons, but isn’t he still a man? That’s my fear.

I still don’t have any intention of marrying a man who has a child.

And I’ll always stick with that.

—Ma

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