I met Prosper in Ho when I was doing my national service. He was working at the company where I was doing my national service. He asked why I was always frowning and keeping quiet when everyone else was busy contributing to the conversations.

I had so many things going wrong in my life as a national service personnel. I wasn’t placed where I wanted to be. I was struggling to get accommodation. I was living with a friend whose parents didn’t like having me in their house.

I narrated my problems to Prosper, and from that day, he became my friend. He called on Saturday and told me we should step out and look for a place. I followed him. When Saturday didn’t work, we continued on Sunday. We did that for about three weeks before we finally found a place.

 READ ALSO: I Cancelled My Wedding Because He Wanted Honeymoon at Where My Ex Proposed

When I was moving to the new house, he got a friend’s pickup to help me move. I started looking at him differently. It’s easy to fall in love with someone who rescues you, but I wanted to be sure that what I was feeling for him was real and mature. So when he proposed, I said no. I said he was my brother and I couldn’t date him. He laughed at me.

“How can an Ewe man have an Ashanti sister? Please stop that.”

I’m pure Ashanti, but I’d lived most of my life outside the region. I even had my tertiary education in the Volta Region. I told him I wasn’t comfortable dating him while we were working in the same office, so we should give it some time.

We spent a lot of time together as friends until I completed my national service and said yes to him.

He took me home a few months later to meet his family. I met his elder sister and a younger sister. Then his dad and mom. Throughout my stay with them, they never spoke any language apart from Ewe. I did not understand much of the language, but I had learned a little when I was in school.

The first question his dad asked when he introduced me was, “Where did you find this thing?” Then they all laughed. His sister added, “Where’s her ass? So what did you find in her?”

I sat still and pretended I didn’t know what was happening. When I was leaving, his dad spoke to me nicely in English and told me I was welcome into the family. His mom even called me her daughter. His sisters looked away.

I didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t even think the relationship was going anywhere, to be honest. But I later found a job in Ho through Prosper’s help.

His people didn’t like me, so he pushed himself to rent a small place in town so he could leave his family’s house. He denied it, but I knew he did that because of me. Two years later, we were talking about marriage.

I had brought him to Accra several times, and he had met my family on several occasions. They didn’t even care about where he came from, and I don’t remember my dad or mom ever mentioning his tribe.

But Prosper’s family made fun of me in their language. Of course, I didn’t hear everything, but the little I could understand was demeaning and condescending. His sister couldn’t understand why her brother couldn’t choose one of the fair, voluptuous Ewe women around but chose me instead. A bag of bones, she called me.

His mother was always talking about money, telling him people from my tribe were materialistic and that I would waste his money and ruin his future.

When he finally took me home to tell them he was going to marry me, his mother left the conversation. His dad spoke for several minutes with a calm smile on his face so I wouldn’t suspect he was speaking against me. He said something like, “You’ll not prosper if you marry from this tribe.” Then he asked why he wouldn’t learn from his elder brother.

When we were leaving, his mom appeared and said, “Prosper, listen to the wisdom of the aged. We know what we are talking about. This woman can’t help you.”

Prosper was always moody when it came to us. I would ask if everything was okay, and then he would force a smile and say all was well. May God bless the heart of this man. If I hadn’t met him when I did, I don’t know what my love story would have looked like.

Eventually, we got married. Right after marriage, he told me, “We are not going to live in this town. Start looking for a job, and I will also do the same.” Six months after marriage, I got a job and moved to Accra. I came to live in one of my dad’s houses in Dansoman. It took him a year to join me, but it was okay.

It was when we were finally living together again that I told him I was aware of everything he went through to marry me. He was shocked. I said, “Anytime I asked you what something meant, it was because I had heard something from your parents or sisters. I was following the conversation, trust me.”

That day, he broke down and cried. He was actually embarrassed, but I told him it was alright. I married him for his heart and not that of his family.

His parents called. They wanted to come and see where he lived. I told him, “Your parents are not welcome in this house. Not while I’m alive.”

He didn’t argue with me. His sister was also in Accra and wanted to visit. “No, that woman is not allowed here as long as I’m married to you. They’ll come here and stay for a day or two, and by the time they leave, there will be fights because, trust me, I’m not going to keep quiet again when they come at me.”

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

We’ve been here for the past five years. His parents don’t know where we live. I go with him whenever he wants to visit home, and he always wants me there because even he is scared to be alone with his own family. He’s scared of what they would say. They’ve told him he isn’t a man because he has allowed himself to be manipulated by me.

My kids bear his name. They both have Ewe names I love. He speaks his language to them because we don’t want them to lose that side of their heritage. I’ve started speaking the language better now that I’m no longer living in Ho.

My daughter’s name in Ewe means, “It’s good for me.” So we are all good.

—Frimpomah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******