I’m a widow. My husband died somewhere around 2018. His death took a huge toll on me as a wife. I didn’t know what life was going to be like without him, a man I loved so well with every breath of life in me, a man I loved so deeply that even the enemy was shocked at the intensity of our love.

Again, my late husband was the man I believed God purposely created for my sake. So when he was gone, nothing made sense anymore. I performed my widowhood rites and did everything within my capacity to honour the husband he was to me. I grieved and slowly started accepting that he was not going to come back in a million years, until the end of the world.

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Two years ago, I decided it was time to move on. Slowly and steadily, I fell right back into the dating scene. I decided to open my heart again, be open-minded about falling in love, and see what would happen.

Frimpong came into my life just at the right time. We talked so much about his life, my life as a widow, business, and everything in between. Eventually, I started to develop feelings for him too. I felt that tingle in my heart. I liked him very much.

But there is a “but.”

The problem is, I didn’t know where he stayed, so he mostly came to my end. After work, he is there. I serve him food, he sleeps over, and sometimes he goes back home.

As if that is not enough, there has never been a single day he comes to me with a gift. “Oh, Afia, I saw plantain chips on the way and it reminded me of you, so take it.” “Orange is in season, so I bought you some. Take.”

Nothing at all. Not even a sachet of water.

But anytime he is in need, I help him. I cook him delicious meals. Some days, he delivers his clothes for me to do his laundry for him. He won’t add soap. I use mine, use after-wash detergents, and do all this without asking a penny from him.

Again, when he is away, he doesn’t call or text. If I refuse to call, then we are not talking. Even on days I call, it takes a while before he returns my call.

When I fell ill, I let my daughter call to inform him. His response was, “She will be fine.” He still didn’t call to check up on me or even try to fake paying for my bills. I say this because when the tables are turned, I go up above the hill and down the earth for him. Isn’t it good to return good with good?

But in my case, his slogan is “Mayɛ slow,” meaning he doesn’t have anything. He hasn’t spent a pesewa on me.

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After ghosting me for close to a year, he came here asking for forgiveness and said we should start over again and continue, leaving the past behind.

I have two children, and they are all grown. My eldest is a boy of 29 and a girl of 26. He also has two children. He told me that he and his wife got divorced because both families had issues with their marriage, and that is why he is single.

I have forgiven him. I even gave him one of the two phones I was using because his phone was having issues. It was my way of showing him that I owed him no grudge and had truly forgiven him.

But guess what? He has started misbehaving again. He called for three days straight and then continued the habit of dodging me. It has been a week, and I haven’t heard from him again. Yet, he posts on WhatsApp and hasn’t even replied to the last message I sent him, even though he has read it.

I don’t know what to do now. Is it that he’s after my money? Is he married? Or has he lost interest in me? Please help me.

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

I understand that a lot has changed in the dating scene from my time until now, so I need help understanding this kind of behaviour. I don’t know if I am looking at things differently because of my age or because I have been out of the dating scene for so long.

— Mama Felicia

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