Our families were not on board with our relationship from the very start. He didn’t have their support, and I didn’t either. We talked and talked about whether we should just leave it and go our separate ways. Neither of us could bring ourselves to answer that question. So against all odds, we stayed together. Over the course of 12 long years, we slowly won the approval of our families. Three years ago, we finally got married, and today we have a child together.

Last year, I realised that my husband was no longer comfortable at home. He wasn’t even present when he was around. His phone never left his hands, and whenever he was on it, he gave it his full attention. I started examining myself, wondering if I had offended him in some way that could explain his silence and divided attention. There was nothing serious, just the usual little marriage squabbles here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary.

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So, what could possibly be wrong with my husband? I decided to find out for myself because I knew he wouldn’t tell me the truth if I asked him. That was when I discovered that he was cheating on me. I took my time and read through the messages one after the other.

At first, I ignored what I had found. It wasn’t necessarily because I wanted to avoid trouble. I was hoping he would change on his own. I thought his conscience would eventually speak to him and make him realise that what he was doing was causing more harm than good.

I waited, but nothing changed. Eventually, I confronted him about it.

He refused to admit that he had done anything wrong until I started presenting the evidence, one piece after another. Things got even worse when he contracted an STI and passed it on to me. I don’t sleep with anyone else apart from my husband, so I knew where I had contracted it. I had to go through treatment to get myself better.

He promised to change and never repeat his mistakes. I gave him another chance, hoping he would keep his word. But, like a dog returning to its vomit, he went back to his old ways. He said he was going to cut the woman off, and I agreed to give him the chance to do so.

However, as I continued looking into my husband’s activities, I found more disturbing things. They were flirtatious, and while I didn’t have proof that they went as far as sex, I knew they were far from harmless conversations. I didn’t even bother questioning him about those.

I have begged my husband to stop cheating on me. Who begs her own husband to stop cheating? Apparently, I do. Even after all the begging, I have come to realise that my husband is still in contact with this particular woman.

The heartbreaking part is that this woman falls far below my standards in every way, physically, financially, and educationally. I’m not trying to look down on her, but I would have expected my husband to choose someone who was above me, especially knowing his taste in women.

The woman in question knows that my husband is married and has a child. In fact, she occasionally asks him about us. At this point, I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I walk away from my marriage because I can no longer stand the cheating, or should I confront him again and see if we can salvage what is left of our relationship?

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I still love my husband, and I know he loves me too. I’m also worried about my child’s welfare if I decide to leave.

But this situation is driving me crazy, and I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. Please help me.

—Gyamfua

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