My Husband Bought His Mother a New Car While I Take Trotro to Work

The problem is that I also work, and getting to my workplace is not easy. After walking the children to school, I have to find a trotro to work. Sometimes I stand by the roadside for several minutes while one fully loaded trotro after another passes me. When I finally get one, I have to change vehicles twice before reaching my destination.

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That’s three different trotros every morning. And when work closes, I have to go through the same struggle to get home. Sometimes I have to call someone to pick up the children because I’m stuck in traffic.

My husband knows all these things. Sometimes I come home complaining about how difficult my day has been, and he tells me to be patient. So two years ago, when he suggested that we should start saving towards buying a car for me, I was very happy.

His proposal was simple. He would contribute 60% of the money, and I would raise the remaining 40%. I agreed immediately. We opened a separate savings account and started contributing towards the car. Every month, after receiving my salary, I made sure I deposited my portion.

It wasn’t always easy. There were months when I had other important expenses, but I still found a way to save. Sometimes I postponed buying things I needed because I kept reminding myself that I would soon have a car. My husband was also contributing. Occasionally, we would check the balance and calculate how much more we needed.

After two years, when we were getting close to our target, I enrolled in a driving school. I wanted to learn how to drive and get my licence before the car arrived. I started imagining how convenient life would become.

I wouldn’t have to leave home so early. I could take the children to school, drive to work and return to pick them up without struggling for a trotro. Five months ago, my husband withdrew all the money from the savings account. He said he had found someone in China who could help us buy a brand-new car and ship it to Ghana. According to him, buying through that person would be cheaper than purchasing one locally.

A month passed, and I asked about the shipment. He said the car was being processed. Another month passed. This time, he said there were delays with the shipping arrangements. I didn’t understand much about importing cars, so I believed whatever explanation he gave me.

I visited my mother-in-law and noticed a new saloon car parked in her compound. She told me her son had been very good to her. I assumed my husband had helped her purchase it. He had always been responsible for most of her financial needs, so I didn’t think much of it. A few weeks later, I saw that same car painted in taxi colours.

All this while, I was still waiting for my own car to arrive from China. Whenever I asked him about it, he had a different explanation.  Eventually, I became frustrated. One evening, I told him I wanted the contact of the person in China so I could speak to him myself.

He became angry and asked whether I didn’t trust him. We argued over this car everyday and sometimes led to a fight because I didn’t understand why for five months there was no sign of a car.

One morning, after a fight over the car, he told me, “Fine. There is no car coming from China.” He confessed he had used our savings to buy the saloon car for his mother.

According to him, He wanted his mother to have a source of income so she would stop relying on him for everything. He was going to use the year ahead to get me a new car.

I thought he was joking. He said, “Look at the bigger picture. Once my mother starts making money, I won’t have to send her money every month. We can use that money to buy your car.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I asked why he hadn’t discussed this plan with me before withdrawing our savings. He said he knew I wouldn’t agree. That statement made me even angrier.

I reminded him that I had contributed 40% of that money. He said, “But I contributed 60%.” He told me to stop making everything about money and understand that he was trying to help his mother and later help me get even a better car.

I told him, “I don’t want it grilled or boiled, just give me my 40% and I will find a way to get a car myself. Let’s just say your mom is more important. That’s fine. Give me my money and let me solve my own problem.”

That’s when he accused me of overreacting. He said I was allowing a car to create problems in our peaceful marriage. I asked, “Do you genuinely believe the problem is the car? You took our savings without my consent, spent the money on something we hadn’t agreed on and lied to me for months and you think it’s about a the car? You’ll never have peace in this house if you don’t give me back my money.”

He keeps saying he doesn’t have the money. So I told him to sell the taxi and give me back my money. Now he’s going around behaving as though I’m the unreasonable one.

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He keeps promising to replace the money, but he has no definite plan. I told him, “If you don’t give me back my money, one day you’ll return and see no house.” He says I’m threatening our marriage because of a car.

I have his car papers. I’ve hidden it where he would never see. I’ve given him just two months to return my money or I will put his car online for sale. He knows me too well to know I’m not joking. So he sleeps with his car keys under his armpit but he has forgotten I have the spare keys. I don’t even want to hear about another car from him. I just want the money I contributed.

He looks restless around me and I like it. I enter the room and he becomes jumpy. Just yesterday, he told me he would sell the car he bought for his mother and give me back my money. I said, “It better be quick!”

Am I overreacting as he’s saying?

—Lena 

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