My girlfriend, Wendy,  fought with a lady friend of mine when our relationship was barely a month old. The fight didn’t graduate into a physical fight because those who were there doused the fire before it could turn into flames.

When my friend told me what had happened, I called my girlfriend.

“Wendy, why did you do that? Why attack her because she’s my friend?”

“Is she just a friend? So why does she call you every evening when we are together?”

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That statement was a lie, and I sought to correct her. She told me she had lost a relationship to a girl like my friend before, so she knew how people like her played the game. I warned her. I told her the next time something of that nature happened, we were over.

She didn’t take that lightly. She said I was threatening her because I had something going on with my friend. I talked to her and even begged her not to let it happen again.

“If anything, I’m the one you should talk to and not them. They don’t owe you anything.”

I thought we’d agreed on that until it happened again.

I was with her when we met an old friend. I told Wendy to give me a few seconds. I was vibing with this old friend when Wendy came to stand next to me. I introduced her to my friend as my girlfriend.

Before I could finish the introduction, Wendy cut in, “Now that you know he’s taken, get your hands off him. You’re too touchy.”

I was stunned. My friend was too. We had to end the meeting abruptly and go our separate ways.

I got livid. I walked away from her and hopped into a moving trotro. I left her there and declined her calls as they came.

She later came to the house, not to say sorry or show remorse, but rather to defend her actions.

“You’re a man, so you won’t know the antics ladies use to take other people’s guys away. I was watching her. I had to intervene.”

“Who said I needed your intervention? It’s over. I can’t keep losing friends because of you. It’s over.”

She begged me continually for almost a week. I remained firm and said I wasn’t going to take her back.

She told me, “Give me her number. Let me apologize to her. It won’t happen again.”

That statement made me believe she had turned over a new leaf, so I took her back. I assured her that it was always going to be her, so she should throw away her insecurities and remain focused.

“If you drive everyone away, who will we invite to our wedding?”

Wendy is a sweet soul when everything is right. She can dance all day when she’s happy, and I loved to see her dance. When she’s not dancing, she’ll cook to kill boredom. And she’s one kind soul too.

She told me, “When I love you, I’ll melt into you and become one with you. So whatever I do for you, I see it as doing it for myself.”

She loved too deeply. It’s the reason all the heartbreaks she had been through moulded her into an insecure person. She told me to blame her exes for who she had become, and I told her there was a way we could make it work.

There’s Sabina, a friend who had almost become like a sister to me. My mom and her mom were friends. They even encouraged us to date, but Sabina said she didn’t like short guys. That’s the reason she shunned me romantically.

Because of the depth of the history we had, whenever I had girlie issues, she was the one I talked to.

When Wendy attacked my first friend, I discussed it with Sabina, and she told me a woman like Wendy wouldn’t help me, so I should leave her. Anytime we chatted, she warned me about the dangers of dating a lady like Wendy.

I told her I would assess Wendy more and see. So she would text and later say, “Your heart is strong ooo. You’re still dating this girl?”

I don’t know how Wendy got my password. She read the messages between me and Sabina, tricked Sabina into meeting her, and attacked her.

The mistake she made was meeting Sabina in her zone.

When their fight turned physical and Wendy was overpowering Sabina, the guys there who knew Sabina got angry and pounced on Wendy.

They beat her like she was a kid. They left belt marks all over her skin. One of the guys accidentally hit her lip with a belt hook, and it cracked her front teeth. It was that bad and landed her in the hospital.

Sabina made a police report, and Wendy also made a police report against those two guys.

I felt let down. I couldn’t even afford to be angry. I felt guilty for exposing Sabina to that level of harm.

I went to see her at the hospital. I apologized to her, but she was so angry she didn’t want to listen to me. She said she would ensure Wendy ended up behind bars.

I told her, “Do whatever gives you justice. I won’t stand in your way.”

I never visited Wendy at the hospital. I was too embarrassed to see her. My anger might have been worse if I had seen her.

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She texted. She called. I didn’t respond.

When she came out of the hospital, she came to see me. I didn’t open the door.

She said, “You know my problem. Please help me get over it.”

I still kept my door shut.

The issue is still being handled by the police. She goes there every day to show herself, while those two guys are also paying for what they did to her. I don’t care.

Once all this is over, it’s Sabina I owe an apology to. I’m also grateful that, through her, I was able to walk away from a girl like Wendy.

—Andy

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