One dawn, I woke up with disturbing thoughts and couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t feel like I had the strength to face the rest of the day. I sat on my bed, overwhelmed by my thoughts. “I can’t do this,” I muttered to myself. “He is there, and I am here. I don’t know what he is doing over there. What if I am just a placeholder in his life and he ends up breaking my heart and staining my white? I have to do something. I will break up with him.”

The next morning, or sometime around then, I called him and laid my fears before him. I told him I wanted us to break up. He refused. “Your reasons are understandable, but you need to trust me,” he told me. “You can’t just throw everything away because of the distance.”

READ ALSO: My Husband Gave Me an STI, but I Am Afraid to Leave Him

Let’s call him Kwame. We met on Facebook. He texted me first, and from there, we developed some sort of bond. Then, feelings began to grow. He was intelligent and well brought up. The conversations we had were smart and meaningful, not the usual “Have you eaten?” or “What are you wearing?” kind of conversations.

I had always told myself that I would marry a Fante guy when I grew up, so meeting Kwame and knowing his identity was a green flag for me. My problem at the time, however, was the distance. I was in Kumasi while he was in Winneba. Long-distance relationship troubles aren’t talked about enough. It is hard, and you need some sort of grace to go through it. Granted, we lived in the same country, but we were still miles away from each other.

I kept asking myself, “What if we finally meet and that is all there is to it?” Even though I loved him, I doubted his love for me. I was ready to do anything stupid to keep him forever, but I was still scared. The distance frightened me. Our forever was short-lived. He even promised me marriage to put my mind at ease and explore the feelings that had grown, but unfortunately, I had already made up my mind.

A year later, he got married to another woman. She is an amazing woman, and the twist here is that she is not in Ghana. She lives overseas while Kwame is here in Ghana. He was the one who called to give me this information. Our breakup wasn’t messy. It ended on a peaceful note, so we became some kind of acquaintances. I moved on a long time ago, but his call and hearing his voice awakened feelings I thought I had long buried. The feelings are stronger than ever, and I can’t help myself. I think this is the time I am finally ready for him, long distance or not, and he is still asking me out.

We didn’t meet in person when we were dating, but now we have finally met in person, and I can’t stop thinking about him and crying over the fact that I let a good man slip through my hands.

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

Lately, we have been seeing each other, and I am not sure I can love any man the way I love him. I still love him, and he says he still loves me too. We have talked about this over and over, and he has told me that he won’t let me go again. He says he will do anything to have me. I have not yet asked if it includes divorcing his wife, though.

Yes, he is still very much married, but his wife is not here in Ghana. I don’t want to lose him. Should I keep hoping or praying for something good to happen? Seeing that he is only with me because his wife is not around? Please help a sister. I am really in the dark right now. Please don’t judge me, because this can happen to anyone at all.

—Getty

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB<>