Phillippa and I are very, very good friends who show up for each other when the need arises. On days when we need to put warmth to each other’s bodies at night, it happens, either at my end or her end. We do the do, dress up, and still return to being friends. It is that cordial and calm, our status of relationship, I mean.

It happened that some weeks ago, we were talking about the rise of sexually transmitted diseases, and the conversation moved into HIV. I had seen the statistics that were making waves on the net the week prior and said absentmindedly, “Ei, me kraa, it has been long since I last got tested. I should try my best and get to do.”

I know I’m not the only guy she’s sleeping with. She also has a boyfriend whom she loves and a sugar daddy whom she loves and, you know, adds sugar to her koko. Each of them, I understand, she is intimate with.

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On the same subject, she jokingly said, “If I ever find out that I am positive, trust me, I will spread it like butter. Everyone will get it.”

If you were the one hearing this, how will your body do? Won’t your soul jolt out of your body looking for a place to hide? Huh? I think when she saw my reaction, she tried to make light of the situation by saying, “Oh, I was just joking. My place of work did some kind of blood donation for a hospital. I can’t be that careless.”

We moved on to different topics, and days later, it kept ringing in my head, refusing to let it go. The joke and the silence afterward didn’t convince me enough. What if I have contracted it? What if this girl really has it? Go and check your status. Go and check. So I did. Thankfully, I am all good and clear to go.

I mentioned to her that I had gone to test myself and I was good to go. The way she was asking about the process, the price and all, it seemed as though she wanted to go for the testing but was scared to go ahead with it. She didn’t have to say it. She was very jittery.

Days later, I brought it up again. “Phillippa, because my result is negative doesn’t mean that you are out of the woods. Go and check.” She answered, “If you are not positive, it means I am also positive. After all, we have been having unprotected sex for a while now.” I told her that’s not how it works. Proceeded to explain; someone can have an STI without showing symptoms, and we could be passing it to each other without knowing.

That conversation ended, and she has since been ghosting me. It looks like my insistence on her getting tested offended her. I don’t understand her behaviour at all. I am only looking out for her. Who knows what the other two men in her life are doing with other people? Is it wrong to care when it directly affects me too?

If the roles were turned, I would heed her demand and get tested.

Once, she complained that she didn’t like my perfume because it made her sneeze and all of that. I went to the market and got one of the best on the market for her sake. I didn’t fight her. I didn’t ghost her. That one was perfume. This is her life we are talking about, and suddenly I am the villain in the story.

I don’t understand why. As I am typing, I am even thinking about going in for another test in two months because the way she is reacting is making me worried for myself. What if she knows something and I don’t?

Truth be told, her attitude is not only about her. It is about most women.

Women can’t eat what they serve. A woman is confident enough to ask you questions like, “Did you brush your teeth?” “Did you wash your briefs?” She will tell you to your face, “You have body odour.” “You should go and check for an STI,” and we say, She is audacious.

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But when a man tells a woman the same thing, for example, “You have body odour,” “You have mouth odour,” or “You should get tested,” she feels offended and acts like an immature person. And this is just one of many cases.

That aside, I am worried about Phillippa. What do I do about her? What do I do about the situation we have found ourselves in? Because at this point, I am not even sure whether I should be more worried about her refusal to get tested or the fact that she is now avoiding me because I asked her to.

— Maxwell
Do you think I will someday be happy?
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