I told Richard, my boyfriend, that if we should ever get pregnant, I suggest we keep it because, in our part of the world, our parents don’t even plan before having children. They take it as it comes.

“Even you, you may have been a mistake, but your parents decided to still bring you into the world.” He made a face, uncuddled me and shifted to the other end of the bed.

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Along the line, he would hiss and mutter under his breath while on his phone. I would bring up conversation topics so that he would get involved, but he paid me no mind. I sent him funny reels, trying to engage him, but he wasn’t interested. Our evening ended on that note, and by the next time I saw him in the evening the next day, he was still angry, and red too. I tried to explain myself, but still, no show.

When he finally spoke, he accused me of insulting him and his parents because of what I said. He said that I had called him a mistake child and said that his parents didn’t actually plan before having him.

“I have never been this insulted in my whole life before. Even talking about my parents the way you did is very insulting.”

I burst into laughter at first, then I explained that that’s not what I meant. All I was trying to say was that our parents walked with the idea that we don’t know which child will take care of us in the future, so they will have children even if the mother has just put to bed a few months ago. That was the point I was trying to make.

I apologised. I said sorry. I was even contemplating bringing in third parties, but thankfully, I was able to fix it.

A year later, Richard was still talking about this, making a big deal out of it even though apologies had been made. And I am not assuming this. He told me himself.

Every now and then, he would go cold. He wouldn’t really message me or give a hoot about me. When he did speak to me, he was rude and mean. Every answer he gave me, even a simple, “Good morning, how are you, baby?” would send a chill down my spine because I did not know what mood he would be in.

He said that evening was forever etched in his memory. That he will never forget that I may have called him a mistake child and even brought his parents into it. ” I will never ever forgive you”

Shocked is an understatement.

It had been months. We had laughed and kissed, gone through different things together and done different things with each other, and there he was, after a year, saying he had been torturing me emotionally and psychologically for months because of that evening.

Something we were just talking about?

We broke up days after that. If not for this situation, I wouldn’t have known that he was the kind of man who held grudge against people for so long.

It is a big deal for me because I understand relationships differently. I believe we hurt each other, we apologise, we forgive and we continue to love each other regardless. But maybe I was wrong.

We are done now, but I can’t stop thinking about it, so I have to ask. Did I really say something wrong? Did I really insult his parents like he said?

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Did I really insult him? Because, aren’t we all mistakes our parents decided to take a bet on?

Or, maybe a lighter way to look at it is this: our parents may not have planned every single one of us, but they still chose to bring us into the world and love us anyway.

 

— Chi
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