I am talking to the best friend of the man I was falling for. His name is Matthew. He is the one who held me together after Ransford died.

Ransford was supposed to be my boyfriend. We were getting there. I had started to feel something real for him, and from the way he acted, I think he felt it too. Then life took him away before he could even propose for me to say yes.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

He lived in the United States. I could not go there. I could not visit him. So it was Matthew who kept me updated on the funeral plans. He told me how it was all unfolding. The day for the funeral, the tributes, everything little thing.

We bonded over grief. Matthew was also hurting at the time. His girlfriend had cheated on him and he was trying to pick up the pieces. At night, we stayed on calls. We laughed hard, letting the weight slip off for a little while. We cried when it became too much. Every morning we sent each other messages, little nudges to get up, face the day, keep going.

Pain like that pulls emotions out of you. It pulled them out of us.

Everything I could not do with Ransford, I did with Matthew. The calls, the long talks, the quiet moments. Ransford and I only ever talked through text messages. But with Matthew, we had video calls. We heard each other’s voices. We spent hours together, hours I never got to spend with Ransford.

Somewhere along the way, we started feeling more. We grew attached. We may want to step forward into something new.

When Matthew told Ransford’s father about us. We did not expect open arms. But we were not ready for what he said. He warned us to stay apart. He thinks we are mistaking grief and comfort for love. He thinks we are clinging to each other only because of the loss, even asked us to stay away from eachother for a while.

We tried taking space. It did not last. We fell back into each other. It took weeks, not months, before the texts and calls started again. The feelings are still there. They sit heavy and strong. I think about him often. I wonder what life with him might look like.

He told me he loves me. Well, I feel the same.

But here is the shadow that hangs over us.

Ransford’s father says he had a dream. In that dream, his son told him he was disappointed. He said that out of all the women in the world, his best friend chose the one he had liked. The girl he was getting to know.

Because of that dream, his father asked us to stop whatever was growing between us.

We are not even dating yet. We only have feelings. Strong, yes. But nothing has been acted on fully.

Now I need to know if we are wrong for feeling this way.

I was never intimate with Ransford. I never met him. I never saw him in person. Everything we shared lived inside text messages. We did not go far. We did not have time. So I do not understand why Ransford, wherever he is, would be against it. His father’s words have made me restless. I keep turning the question over in my mind.

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

Am I committing some kind of betrayal that feels like incest? Is there something wrong with wanting to be with Matthew?

These are the things I cannot stop asking myself.

— Rita
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>