We started life in a single room in a compound house, where you carried water to bathe outside. If you had to visit the toilet and someone was there, you walked to the nearest bush to ease yourself, or held it in till the person using it came out.
I did not have a job that supported the family, and my husband did menial jobs to put food on the table and clothes on our backs. I was a university graduate, applying for many white-collar jobs I saw online. I would apply, pray, and ask God to make this the one. I married a man who did not even complete JSS. I was the odd one, whose husband carried mortar on his head, but it did not matter. What mattered was that I loved him with everything that had breath in me. He was so charming and witty.
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
Until he had an opportunity to travel to the USA. I was excited for him, for us. It meant a whole lot of locked doors were going to open. But the opportunity came with a caveat. He had to marry a citizen over there; apparently, that was one of the fastest routes to get him papers. I hesitated, I lamented, I cussed, I fought, I cried, but he assured me his forever is with me. This is a business transaction that we will both benefit from in the end. What a risk, but eventually I agreed.
Fast forward, it has been 14 years. He got the book; life is good. He has a child with my co-wife. I have three. Why am I sharing my story? If only it will help my fellow women who find themselves in similar situations.
Together, we built businesses here in Ghana. My kids and I live very large, in our home, driving my Mercedes, and we get to travel twice a year to any destination. My children have dual citizenship. I am never in lack or need of anything. Houses, cars, shops, endless opportunities to sit and dine with the big boys. Think of it all, I have it. My husband has lived up to his promise to me. He visits twice a year, and I sure give him a damn good time whenever we meet. I adore my husband, and so I pamper him well. I believe I have kept the heart of my husband through prayers and the grace of God. He loves me, I just know. We even have grown to birth nicknames for each other; I call him “Fine Boy”, and he calls me “Fine Girl.”
I have never cheated on my husband. He is a good and hard-working man and deserves my loyalty. I am not a terrible person, so I even encourage him to be a good man to my co-wife too. Because what will I gain if I make life difficult for him? Would she not be sad? Would she not be bitter? What do I gain from all of that? Nothing. I need her to be peaceful enough to give my husband peace. She does not know about me and mine, but I know of her, her child, her life, her family. I know it all.
Sometime ago, he mentioned how tired he was, how exhausting the life he was living had become. I laughed. “Why won’t you be tired? You’re taking care of two families.”
He laughed too. “At the end of the day, I know you two women will probably drag me to court, but my love, please make your own side easier for me. You’re the colour of my skin and my missing rib. She also made my life easier by bringing me over here, and I’ll always be grateful to her. The day she finds out about you, I don’t know what will happen. It will be difficult, but please don’t leave me.”Like Ruth in the Bible, wherever he goes, I will go. His people will be my people, and his God will be my God. As long as he wants me by his side, that is where I will be.
Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?
It is my decision to be my husband’s peace and comfort in a world of chaos and uncertainty. One thing I know for sure is, if he should lose everything to ground zero, I will still choose him. He is my lover and my friend, my banter buddy, and I am not afraid because he has proven himself. May the Lord continue to bless and keep him. He has my heart like that. It may not be the usual you hear, the dual marriages; well, I am in one, and I have steered this ship so well in my favour that I am at peace with my decision and the outcome thus far.
— Ese
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB<>
I’m happy for you dear and thank God he didn’t forget you like other men do your story would have been different they are one in a million
I AM ALSO HAPPY FOR HER AND WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME THING YOU ARE SAYING! THIS MAN’S A GOOD MAN!
Ese you are not having a problem.
Your husband is tired, he listens DL’s and others issues online and it hits him.
He can start by opening up to the white lady. Put properties in your name and that of the kids. Just in case the white last drags him to court. In case she doesn’t. You are all good to go. I won’t call your husband good. Because you benefited. What do you care? Let’s give the pen to the pen to the white lady to write the story and tell her about the family in Ghan….
My phone fell….😊
I have a contrary opinion but it is not in anyway to criticize your marriage, I wish you the very best as to how you define the success of your marriage. My understanding of the story was to encourage anyone in similar shoes to take similar actions like you did, that is where I believe the danger is. Anything that is an exception of the rule does not become the rule regardless of the outcome because if you look at the probabilities in a large data set, the exception is always the least. Eg. If one of the partners had cheated and the marriage still stands, you can’t say because someone cheated and the marriage stood, that makes cheating the new rule. It’s only an exception. Having said that , we have to redefine our definition of the success of marriage. Marriage was not instituted by man, it was ordained by God so He makes the rules hence we should not condone our wrong actions which may have produced the results we want and justify it as been successful. Remember in the end even if it worked out here on earth, we would still be held accountable for our actions, We should start looking at marriage beyond just what we get or achieve in the physical or we may do very uncouth things and justify them just because our goals were achieved. Shalom and wishing everyone the best of luck, light and love
Chale? There is something called reading the room! You should know it!
And just when you disagree with someone’s take on an issue stop bringing in stuff like we would all be held accountable, etc. It is not polite at all.
The importance of the story is that, find what works for you. What works for others may not work for you, so find what works for you!
Chale, read the room! I beg!