My dad knows her very well and knows her family too. When we started dating, I was living with my parents so I took her home often before I had a job and left the house to my own place. We were young when we started dating. She was in school and I was in school too. In total we’ve been together for over six years.
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
God being so good, she has a good job now and I also have my dream job. The next thing for us is to get married. I discussed the marriage plans with my mom first and she asked if it’s the same lady I’d been dating since young and I said yes. She sighed and said, “I don’t have any problem but your dad. Hmmm…talk to him and let’s see.”
I didn’t know what the problem could be but I called my dad and had a discussion. He asked me to come home first. When I went he told me, “Do you know there’s this sickness in their family? Has she told you?”
I shook my head. Then again, I was wondering what kind of disease my dad was talking about and why she should have told me about it.
According to my dad, my girlfriend’s junior brother had a disease. He couldn’t name the disease but from the description he gave, I figured it was autism. The boy died when he was eleven. According to my dad, my girlfriend’s family kept the boy in the room so nobody would know about him.
After telling me the story, he told me it’s not advisable for me to marry from such a family, knowing the history they carry. He was shocked that my girlfriend didn’t mention it after so many years of dating and was convinced it was intentional so I wouldn’t know the kind of issues their family carries.
I told my dad, “She has two other siblings who are very fine and doing well so why do we have to look at the one that had a problem and say they have diseases?” He responded, “You’re a child. It’s the reason your generation is suffering avoidable and strange diseases. You don’t know who you marry these days.”
The bottom line is that my dad says no. My mom doesn’t have any opinion. Even if she has, she can’t voice it because my dad will see it as betrayal. Throwing six years of relationship away in the name of family history is something I can’t swallow.
I’ve known her and been through thick and thin with her. Just imagine dating a lady for all these years and all of a sudden you tell her it’s over, not because she did something wrong but because of the sickness of her younger brother. I don’t agree with my dad. I want to push him to the wall until he agrees. But I want to know the truth in his assertion. Is this true and applicable in all situations?
How The Death Of Our Son Nearly Brought Our Marriage To An End
They once had a sick child so the sickness is in the family and transferable to the next generation? I think this is old school and ought to be abandoned but how do you get a father like mine to understand? My girlfriend is not aware of this development yet. I don’t want to get her worried. Do you think it’s also a good idea to let her know?
—Afia
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
*******
In the olden days, before marriage, parents of either of the prospective couple investigate the family history(of which diseases are part)of both sides before giving the greenlight. The act is to avoid future challenges.
However, our generation refuses to give attention to that due to outward beauty, sacrifices made, etc.
Most couples encounter challenges in childbirth, health related issues and other setbacks due to their being adamant to heed the advice of the old.
I suggest you give consideration to your father’s concern because the longer it takes you to get off after realising you boarded the wrong train, the more expensive it will be for you to return.
Why not speak to an healthcare practitioner first about the possibility of having a child with such condition. That, of course will be after you have confirmed from your woman about her late brother. The response from the practitioner will inform your decision.
Listen to dad. But sit with him and discuss how the advances in medical science could be used to help make a final determination. The fact that your girlfriend has never brought up his late brother’s condition speaks volumes.