My sister and her husband moved onto our elder brother’s land in 2022, where my two younger brothers and I also live. Our elder brother kindly allowed them to build a temporary structure on his land after their landlord served them notice.

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One day, I was at my sister’s place when I met a pretty lady. Although we lived in the same area, I had never met her until that day. I learned she is a single mother whose child’s father had left her for another woman. Her young son lived with her mother in the province, while she stayed in the city in one of her father’s two houses. My nephew, who gave me the information told me the lady was my sister’s friend.

In time, I proposed love to her. She asked for time to think about it. Within a week, she said yes. I was happy but the nature of our relationship snuffed out my joy.

She rarely answered my calls. She was always too busy doing one thing or the other. Sometimes I would have to send my nephew to invite her for a chat. At that time, she was selling raw fish for her aunt at the market and occasionally brought some for us to cook.

She once mentioned her aunt wanted her to apply for a marketing position but she didn’t know how to write an application letter. I helped her prepare both the letter and a CV, and she successfully got the job. I supported her however I could.

In 2024, she suddenly came to stay with me. I didn’t know she was moving in until she showed up with her luggage. She also brought along her two sisters and son who were visiting for the holidays. After the holidays, her sisters and son returned home, but she stayed. I didn’t have a problem with it so I encouraged her to feel at home.

One day I went through her phone out of curiosity. That day I saw messages on her phone from a woman accusing her of chasing the woman’s boyfriend. The messages said my girlfriend’s mother was in on it.

Although I was angry and hurt, I didn’t leave her. Rather, I advised her to stop. “You are already in a relationship with me so why do you need another woman’s man?” I also spoke to the woman directly. They resolved the matter privately.

In July last year, I learned she was involved with a married man, a police officer in his fifties. She first denied it, then admitted it later. “I will end things with him,” she promised. I believed her.

In November that year, I brought my mother to the capital city, Freetown, for medical treatment. Before her arrival, I told my girlfriend to return to her father’s house, as my mother disapproved of us living together without her parents’ knowledge. She chose instead to stay with her maternal aunt. We agreed to meet on weekends, but she often cancelled these plans with excuses.

Later, I discovered she was still seeing the married man. During Ramadan, she stayed with him and didn’t fast, seeing as he is a Christian. Eventually, he threw her belongings out after he found out she had been dishonest about her love life. That was when she returned to me.

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When I confronted her, she told my mother she loved me, not the other man. My mother advised her to change so we could proceed to meet her family.

I am serious about this lady but I feel like she is just wasting my time. Can you believe I asked for her father’s number to discuss our relationship? Her father agreed to meet me after a business trip, but it is my girlfriend who is stalling the meeting with excuses. I suggested meeting her aunt. Even that one, she claimed she was sick on the day we fixed the meeting, so she didn’t show up.

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I later contacted her father again and promised to visit. That Friday night, I asked her if she was truly serious about us, given her continued involvement with the married man. Her answer was basically, “Do what you want.”

Now I am here asking myself, how would her father see me after I have scheduled and rescheduled meetings with him without showing up for any of them? I am wasting my time waiting for her to commit to me, right?

—Wisah

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