I’m a 25-year-old university student currently in Level 200, second semester, and I’ll be going to Level 300 soon.
My boyfriend is 30 years old. He’s also a university student and is in his final year studying Law. He wants us to start having children. His plan is that once I become pregnant, maybe in the first or second month, he will come and pay my bride price. We would first have the traditional marriage ceremony and later sign the marriage documents at the court.
This is where I’m struggling.
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I’m the first child in my family, and I come from a financially struggling background. My grandfather had a child with another woman before he passed away, and that child is now being raised by my mother and me. I have a lot of responsibilities at home.
I currently earn about GH₵1,500 a month, while my boyfriend earns about GH₵4,000 a month. He has offered to give me GH₵20,000 to start a business, but the truth is I don’t even know what kind of business to start. That’s what’s making it difficult for me to make a decision.
I also applied for all four of the security services. I passed the medical examinations, but I wasn’t selected for the first batch. I’ve been told there will be a second batch in November, so I was hoping to wait because getting one of those jobs could make a big difference in my future.
The problem is that my boyfriend says he doesn’t want to wait until November. He wants us to move forward now, settle down, and start having children.
Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?
I’m torn. On one hand, I love him and understand where he’s coming from. On the other hand, I feel like securing one of the security service jobs could make a big difference for my future, my education, and my family’s financial situation.
— Perfect
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if there’s one thing I can advise you on I’ll tell you this, please do Not make a mistake of getting married whiles you haven’t secured your career or at least earning something good/having a good job you’re doing . Get a stable job before you consider moving on with the marriage plans and you’ll “bring me my stone “.
And for the “get pregnant so we marry” thing ha! My dear if you don’t want it that way insist on it oo. If he truly loves you he’ll understand and do it your way. Marriage is Good no doubt but Don’t be pressured, think carefully.
Never make permanent decisions for a promise. What would happen if he changes his mind? Would you take care of the child as a single mother? The guarantee you can have for such permanent decisions is yourself. If he fails to honour it, you have to be ready to take care of the child.
You are giving up your career and exchanging your education for marriage promises? Get pregnant before he marries you?. Please, run for your future and dream. Don’t make that mistake. If he can’t marry before you start giving birth, you too shouldn’t get pregnant for him before marriage. Even if you don’t get selected into the security service, please don’t let that man deceive you.
RUN and I say again, RUN.
Perfect, I have been in your situation before and I’ll tell you this, listen to yourself, secure your future and you’ll be more happy and fulfilled than you are right now. Men are selfish. Haven’t you realize that he’s trying to make you lose yourself without you realizing it. When I experienced something like this and I refused to agree to that, it became war but I still chose myself because I felt that I have a bright future and honestly I have never been happier than I want with him. He might not give you the money that he promised. Perfect listen to yourself, listen to what your heart beats for. Whenever the guys are 30 they start to give their girlfriends pressure because they claim that they promised themselves to marry or have kids at 30. Don’t fall for it oooo I have been able to escape this now I have the chance to join any of the security services like you I wouldn’t have made it this far if I was with him. I wish you can same for your own good girl. This is from a girl who is younger than you are but has experienced this earlier than you have