My Boyfriend Didn’t Stop Me From Meeting My Husband

It was a Sunday evening. I had just been discharged from the hospital, still weak but grateful to be back in my hostel. That evening, a group of guys came to visit, friends of my best friend Lizzy’s boyfriend, Ak. They were all familiar faces because Lizzy had gone to the same SHS with most of them, so their squad already knew me.

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Among the group, one guy showed interest in me and told Ak. But Ak quickly shut it down, saying, “That girl is in a serious relationship ooo.” And he wasn’t wrong. I was deeply committed to my then boyfriend, Owura. He wasn’t wealthy, but he was kind and supportive in every way. He helped me with school, encouraged me, and was truly a blessing in my life. I’ll always thank God for him.

This was back in 2015. I was in level 200, and the guys were in their final year. They left campus shortly after for their mandatory teaching internship. While away, Nana told Ak again that he liked me and wanted to get to know me better. Ak discouraged him, reminding him I was taken and that my boyfriend was helping me through school.

When they returned to campus, Ak called Lizzy and said he wanted to take us out. Lizzy and I lived in the same hostel, just in different rooms, and our roommates were all friends. She came to my room and said, “Ak says we should meet him. He’s taking us out.” I told her I’d inform Owura first, and once he agreed, we went.

That night, everyone came with their girlfriends, except Nana and me. We ended up sitting together, chatting casually. He asked a few questions, and I told him plainly that I was in a serious relationship. He smiled and said, “I know. And I know no one can change your mind.” I nodded. He asked for my number, and I gave him my WhatsApp line, knowing he wouldn’t be able to reach me by regular call.

A few weeks later, he saw me on campus and asked why I gave him a “wrong” number. I smiled and said, “Did you try WhatsApp? I’m very active there.” He laughed and said he wanted to hear my voice. So I gave him my other number.

From there, we became good friends. He helped me with assignments and even did my project proposal. He asked me to come to his house to collect it. I told Owura about how helpful Nana had been, but he wasn’t comfortable with it. When I mentioned Nana’s invitation, Owura told me not to go. But I went anyway, since Owura had promised to help with the proposal and hadn’t followed through.

Nana and I were both based in Kumasi, so I went to his house. That day, I met his mum. The moment she saw me, she said, “Aaa, so it’s you that made him clean the house and cook fried rice this morning?” I laughed and said I was just a friend from school, here to pick up my work. She asked where I was from and where I stayed. Then she said something I’ll never forget: “When he impregnates you, come home. I’ll take it. I want you to marry him.” I laughed it off, took my work, and left.

Nana graduated in 2016 and was posted to a senior high school in Kumasi for his national service. Coincidentally, that school was close to where I lived, and even more surprisingly, Owura’s younger sister was a student there. Nana ended up teaching her class.

After Nana graduated, he posted his pictures on Facebook. Owura’s sister saw them and went straight to Nana, asking how he knew me, because I was her brother’s girlfriend. That was the beginning of the tension between me and Owura. He didn’t like that I was still in contact with Nana, and he asked me to cut ties. So I started distancing myself.

But Nana had always said one thing: “Owura will leave you one day.” I didn’t take it seriously. Owura was working at the mines and had been maintained after his National Service. He was doing well financially and had completed university in 2014. Nana only reached out when he needed help marking scripts, as he had many classes to handle.

Then, out of nowhere, Owura broke up with me over something I thought was small. I had just finished my last paper in school, and he didn’t call to congratulate me. He only saw it on my status. I was upset and told him how disappointed I was. We had this thing where, after a fight, we’d wait to see who would call first and tease each other when we made up. But this time, he didn’t call. After two weeks, I called him, and he said he wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore. I thought he was joking.

I went to his house unannounced, and he sent me away. I cried all the way home. That’s when I knew it was serious.

Nana called, and I let him have it. I told him, “You always said this relationship wouldn’t last, and now it’s happened. Don’t call me again.” I ignored his calls until he stopped trying.

I was single now, but I didn’t tell many people. Even my friends didn’t believe Owura had left me over such a flimsy excuse. So I kept quiet.

When it was time for National Service, Lizzy and I chose the same school where we had done our off-campus teaching, which happened to be Nana’s hometown. I called him and asked if he could help me find a place to stay. He spoke to his mom, and she gave me a room in their family house.

When I arrived, one tenant told me, “The woman said her daughter-in-law is coming to stay.” I was shocked. This woman would go to funerals and bring guests home just to introduce me as Nana’s future wife. Eiii, asem ben nie!

Even though Nana and I weren’t on good terms, I got to know all his mom’s friends from the USA, Canada, everywhere. One day, Nana called and said he wanted to visit before leaving for Europe to further his education. I said okay. He came, told me to take care of myself, and left. I didn’t care. I didn’t call or ask how he was doing.

Then one day, he messaged me: “What wrong have I ever done to deserve this treatment?” I told him, “You wished for my breakup with Owura, so you’ll never get me.” But anytime I asked him for money, he sent it. I thought asking for money would push him away, but it didn’t.

In December 2020, I saw a new number calling. It was Nana. He had just landed in Ghana. I welcomed him but didn’t call back. He called again and asked to see me. I gave him directions. He came with gifts, a purse, shoes, and money. I thanked him, and he left.

I was working with an NGO and traveling a lot, so we didn’t meet again. Later, I got posted to a big SHS in Kumasi and was juggling two jobs. Nana called and said he wasn’t going back to Europe but to Canada. He had only come home because his mom had been bedridden for two years. I was shocked. He said, “Since you don’t care about me, you didn’t know.”

He asked me to escort him to the airport. I declined until I heard his mom’s voice asking me to do it for her. I woke up early, met him at the VIP station, and we went together. At Kotoka, he asked me to be his girlfriend. He said he really wanted to be with me and asked for forgiveness.

I told him to get to his destination first, that we’d talk later.

When I got home, my sister asked about the gifts. I told her Nana brought them. She sat me down and asked why I didn’t want to be with him. I said, “He’s short. I want a tall man.” She asked, “Are you tall yourself?” I laughed. Then I told her the real reason. Nana had always wished for my breakup with Owura. She gave me a thorough talking-to and spoke sense into me.

Nana called again and asked about the proposal. I told him to be patient. We kept chatting, and I started helping his mom with hospital visits. His sisters were married and lived far, so I’d sometimes skip class and take her myself. It looked like we were dating, but I hadn’t said yes yet.

One day, I apologized for everything. He forgave me, and we officially started dating.

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Whenever I visited his house, his mom would call him and say, “Your wife is here. Come and get her. She’s not part of your properties.”

In 2021, I told him I didn’t like teaching and wanted to join Customs or Immigration. I got a deal. They’d take 15,000 cedis once I got to the training grounds. He was ready to pay but asked if I’d rather join him abroad. I said no at first, but we talked it through. He said I’d eventually do my master’s anyway, and the money I’d make abroad would be better.

He applied to two schools, and I got admitted to one. But I needed money for my personal bank statements, over 100,000 cedis. Even selling our family land wouldn’t be enough.

He told his mom, and she asked me to come over. She took me to all her banks and withdrew the money. She introduced me as her daughter and made me her assistant for transactions since she couldn’t walk.

I got the money, joined Nana in Canada in 2022, and he helped with everything, fees, accommodation, everything. He was already teaching there.

I completed my master’s in August 2024, but he helped me get into teaching even before I finished. Now we’re both teachers in Canada, and we’re getting married this August.

He always teases me: “I told you I’d marry you one day. And Owura would leave you.”

As for Owura, he cheated on me with a National Service girl at his workplace. I caught him before we even broke up. He’s still with her and they have two kids, but her family won’t let him marry her because of religion. He calls me to complain, and I just tell him, “You knew that before you went in. Carry your cross.”

He says he always knew I was with Nana. I just tell him, “I don’t owe you any explanation. Enjoy your religion banter. Let me enjoy mine.”

—Akua

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