My boyfriend and I have been dating for 15 months now.

Along the line, he lost his job. It was hard on him, you know? Losing your job as a man, when you had it all, then in the blink of an eye, you lose it. It was heart-wrenching to watch him navigate that kind of new life. And I wasn’t just going to sit there and watch him wreck himself over a job when we could hope that a new and better one would come his way. So, I wore my girlfriend’s cap and came through for him whenever he wanted. I have a well-paying job. So, sometimes I assisted him financially. I had to make him feel like a man; I didn’t even want his ego bruised. I gave willingly.

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Last year, on Valentine’s Day, I got him a present. On his birthday, I did the same. I went all out for the love of my life, again. But on my birthday, he just sent birthday wishes. It should have pained me. At least, with the money I gave him, he could have saved some up and got me something small. After all, it’s the thought that matters, right? But no. When he didn’t, I honestly didn’t get bothered about it because I knew he had lost his job.

 

We met last month, and I realised he’s now using an iPhone 16. I thought, hmm, maybe it’s my eyes. You know how some of these Android phones have the exact design of an iPhone? I thought the same. So I blinked and opened my eyes, and I saw the half-apple symbol at the back. Wait. Someone who isn’t working? How did he manage? When did he buy it? How? With whose money? Could he have invested it or started a business to start his life? Was it a gift to himself? Was it a gift? See, many things were running through my head, but dare I ask him?

Well, I didn’t ask him about the phone because I felt if he’d wanted to tell me, he would have. So, shush, I kept it.

Then I came to realise that last December, that man went to almost half of the concerts held in December. He had the time of his life, jumping, singing along, screaming and taking pictures. And he went alone, too. No, he did not carry me along.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

It was watching him have fun that I sat down and realised that for our 15 months of being together, he hasn’t spent a single penny on me. No money for airtime, shoes, shampoo, or even a girlfriend allowance. I have not received anything from him. I’m not asking him to do anything extraordinary, but his little gesture towards me would have gone a long way.

Is this who he really is? Am I expecting too much? Am I overreacting?

—Regina

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