We have been in the same church since we were kids. But we were not really friends. I had my circle of friends and he had his. As time went on I realized that he had gotten very close to the people in my circle. I always found them deep in conversations. Sometimes they’d be whispering amongst themselves and then go all hush-hush when I approached them. One time I thought, “If I didn’t know any better I would say that these people are conspiring against me.” I didn’t understand their sudden closeness but I tried not to ask any questions.

After I completed SHS, Biggie had practically become a member of my clique. He hang around us all the time, so I became his friend too, except we were not close. One day my friends and I were talking when Biggie’s name came up. I rolled my eyes to keep myself from asking questions about his interest in them. One of the girls saw what I did with my eyes and laughed; “If only you knew.” That statement made me curious so I asked her; “What do you mean? What don’t I know?” That was when one of the guys said, “Why are women so clueless? Can’t you see that Biggie likes you?” I looked at him annoyingly, “Mtcheew, what are you talking about? The guy is always in our space yet he barely pays me any attention.”

“That’s all because of you. He got close to us because of you. He told us he likes you long ago so we welcomed him among us hoping you two will get close. But we all noticed that his presence unnerves you. That’s why he hasn’t said anything to you yet.” Another one of the girls said. I looked at all three of my friends and said; “If Biggie likes me, he should tell me himself. I shouldn’t be hearing it from you guys.” After that conversation, Biggie started smiling at me unnecessarily and I always did my best to ignore him. One day we were all sitting together when all my friends made excuses to get up. Before I realized I was sitting down alone with Biggie. We both stared at each other as an awkward silence stretched between us.

After a while he cleared his throat and started to speak, “I know that Abi, Fiifi, and Akua, already told you how I feel about you. So I just want to reiterate everything they said. I have feelings for you and I’m hoping we can get together.” I immediately told him, “Thanks, but now is not a good time for me to enter into a relationship. I just completed SHS so I’m thinking about my future.” After that, I excused myself and walked away from him. I thought that would be the end of the matter, but no. Biggie said he waited a long time to tell me how he felt, so he would wait for me till I was ready for a relationship.

He continued to hang out with my friends and did his best to get into my good graces. By the time I was in my third year at the university, I felt I was ready to be with him. So I finally said yes to his proposal and we started dating. Honestly, he has been so good to me. I didn’t know he was such a sweet guy until we started dating. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect but we try our best to make it work. Currently, we have been together for three years. We want nothing more than to get married but we are not financially stable. I am an unemployed graduate looking for a job. And Biggie is working but he doesn’t have enough money saved up for marriage. So we planned that I would get something to do soon enough so that we can get married by the next year ending.

Now, the reason I am sharing this story is, during our three years of dating we abstained from shuperu. It was just last month that we got carried away with our emotions and ended up doing it. I took the morning-after pill, but I found out this month that I am pregnant. When I told Biggie about it he said, “People have been doing this all the time but nothing happens. Just one time that we did it, and you’re pregnant? It’s one thing that we’ve sinned, but now there’s evidence. We need to get rid of it fast before the church finds out and deals with us.” I objected to it, “No, I will do no such thing. I will not cover one sin by committing another. We are keeping this child.” At that point, he told me to give him some time to think.

READ MORE: My Parents Said I Couldn’t Marry Her Because Of Her Past

Later, he suggested that we take a loan and get married as soon as possible. Although I am jobless, I agreed to us taking the loan but his father says it’s a bad idea. Now Biggie is telling me that I can either get rid of the pregnancy, or I can have the baby out of wedlock. How does he expect me to keep the child and face my family, friends, and all those who look up to me? They will be so disappointed, especially my family. The worst of all this is that my younger sister is also pregnant. When my parents found out, they got so mad that they sent her away to come and live with me. My mother even fell ill and she hasn’t recovered yet. Because of this, I am scared of what they will do in my case. I am very sure it will kill my mother when I tell her that I am also pregnant out of wedlock.

Please, I need advice. Should we go against Biggie’s dad and take the loan so we can get married? Or should I get rid of the pregnancy before anyone finds out? Or should I keep it and face all the drama that will come with it? There’s no easy choice here, and I’m so confused.

— Adoley

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