Raquel and I are traders. While I sell ladies’ dresses, she sells ladies’ bags. Sometimes to fast-track sales, we hawk our wares. One day, while we were out together, we met a guy who seemed interested in buying from us. He said he wasn’t ready at the time but he would like some dresses later. Then he took my number.

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I wore an excited smile on my face when we walked away from him. Yes, the prospect of doing business with him was something to look forward to. But there was also the part where I liked him. So I was hoping we would become something should he reach out.

The next day I admitted my folly as I asked myself, “Why didn’t I also take his number? Now that he hasn’t called, how will I reach him?”

The next time I saw this mystery man of mine was at my church. I turned to Raquel and asked, “How is he here?” She smiled and said, “I brought him.”

I was surprised. Had I not told Raquel that I was crushing on him? So what was she doing with him?

Anyway, I didn’t dwell on my concerns for too long that day. The guy, his name is Jimmy, started talking to me after that Sunday. The first question I asked him was his intentions toward Raquel. He said they were just friends. “I understand she is your friend but have you proposed love to her?” He said no.

I didn’t just take his word for it. I also asked my friend if she liked him or if he made any moves to express amorous interest in her. She confirmed that he didn’t, while assuring me that she had no interest in him.

As I kept talking to Jimmy, I observed that he was always interested in talking about Raquel. If we spoke for 30 minutes, he would at least spend 15 minutes talking about her. So one day I told him, “If you have feelings for my friend you can tell me. I will help you talk to her.”

He insisted that his feelings for her was platonic. Nothing more. The sincerity in his voice made me drop the subject.

As time passed, we kept talking. We often text, have phone calls, and even video calls. This time, whenever I bring up Raquel casually, he would shut down to indicate he didn’t want to talk about her. One day he even said, “Your friend is not interested in dating or getting married.”

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This is something Raquel tells me whenever conversations about men come up. So I know she probably told him this when he tried to have a conversation with her concerning dating. But I didn’t say anything.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter if he likes her or she likes him. I am only concerned about how I feel about him. I tried to quench the crush when I realized that I may not be his preferred choice. But my feelings are not going away. The heart wants what it wants.

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Now, I don’t know what to do. I’ve started withdrawing from him. He has noticed that I am different. So he is always asking me, “What’s wrong Anna? You know you can tell me anything. You can trust me.”

How am I supposed to tell him that I fell in love with him right from the day I saw him, but I am not the one he wants? He seems interested in staying in my life but I don’t know what to make of it. Does it mean I should tell him how I feel? Or do you think it’s best I keep withdrawing from him till he fades away from my life?

—Anna

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