I Quit My Job to Save My Marriage When My Wife Found The Child I Was Hiding

We married when we were young and maybe didn’t understand what marriage was all about. I was twenty-five, and she was twenty-three when we got married. I had a job that made me travel around Ghana. She had just completed her national service and was looking for a job. We were very happy as a couple, but my job always took me out of town, and when I was away, she was worried, telling me my job didn’t allow us to spend enough time together.

Three years after marriage, my job took me to a place to work there for a year. My wife was pregnant then. She had a job too, and it was the time she needed me the most, but I had to go out of town and work. I visited home weekly, and the weekly visits turned into fortnightly visits and later monthly ones.

While I was out there, I started cheating on my pregnant wife. I had two women in my life. They were even older than me, but I didn’t care. They became the reason I didn’t go home often. They brought fun into my life while my wife suffered at night carrying a pregnancy I gave her.

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When she gave birth, I went home for a month to be with her. Her mother was also with her, helping with the baby. While home with my newborn baby, Erica, one of the women I was dating, called to tell me she was pregnant. I thought she needed money to get rid of it, so I sent her money. She got angry.

“I told you I was pregnant, and all you could do was send money? For what? Do you think money solves everything?”

She cut the line and didn’t talk to me for days. I was jittery. I didn’t want her to keep the pregnancy. I had to lie to my wife that the office needed me as a matter of urgency so I could go there and resolve the situation. I was there for four days.

Erica told me she wasn’t getting any younger, so she wasn’t going to let the pregnancy go. I made big promises. I asked her to ask for anything, and I would provide it, but she stood her ground that she was going to have the child. I got angry and left.

By the time I returned to my work station after my paternity leave, all I had was Mavis because I’d discarded Erica. The following month, Mavis also got pregnant. I knew cheating wasn’t for me. I hadn’t been able to settle things with Erica, and yet I’d gotten another woman pregnant.

Mavis was agreeable. That lady loved me too much. She would do anything for me. She let the pregnancy go so the relationship would continue.

When Erica gave birth, I started feeling the heat of my decisions. Right from the hospital, she came to live in my house. Her mother was backing her up.

“You’ve gotten her pregnant and don’t want to do anything in her life. Who should take care of the child?” her mother asked me.

I asked her to leave, but she wouldn’t leave. Mavis one day came home to see me and met Erica there. She was shocked to see a nursing mother in my room. Before she could ask me who Erica was, Erica got confrontational, asking Mavis why she was shocked to find her in her husband’s home.

They both knew I was married, but my wife was not living with me. It turned into a huge fight between them. I left them there and went to town.

While out there, I saw my life destroying itself right in front of me. I decided enough was enough.

Mavis left me because of this issue. I didn’t fight to have her back. I sacked Erica from my house and agreed to send monthly allowances for her and the baby.

When the baby was almost one year old, I got a transfer back to the town where my wife was. My wife didn’t know anything, so we enjoyed life and celebrated the fact that I was back home with her and our child.

When I got back home, I ignored Erica and her baby. She didn’t know where to find me. She could only call, and I ignored those calls.

One evening, I’d returned from work very tired when my wife approached me with tears in her eyes.

“Roland, who is this woman, and who is the child next to her?”

She showed me a photo of Erica and our child on her phone. The first question I asked was, “How did you get this picture?”

Somehow, Erica found her and had been talking to her. To prove her case, she sent photos of our child and her own photo. The child was five years old then and looked exactly like me.

I took the opportunity to tell my wife the truth. Alas, she even knew the whole story better than I did. She even knew about Mavis and the fight that erupted in my house between her and Erica. Erica had told her everything.

Before I could say jack, my wife packed her things and left the house. A few hours later, my father called.

“Ro, what is it that I’m hearing?”

My mother was shouting in the background, “So you had a child and we didn’t know? Say it’s not true.”

I confessed to them too. When I asked my dad to help me bring my wife home, he said, “You destroyed it with your own hands without anybody’s help. You can build it again with the same hands without anybody’s help.”

Right around that time, while I was fighting for my marriage, my job transferred me to another town to work for at least a year. I sent in my resignation. I needed time to rebuild the marriage. There would be time to look for another job.

I went to my wife with delegation upon delegation. She said no. Her parents supported her. I told her I’d left my job to save our marriage. She told me there was nothing to save.

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She sent my drinks back to my family to signify the end of our marriage. It took a year for the court to grant the divorce she had gone there to seek.

I was a changed person, but she wouldn’t give me a chance. While heartbroken, I signed up for the gym and went there every morning and evening to kill the pain. I got a new job, a better one. I bought a new car and rented a bigger place, all to impress my wife enough to stay, but she didn’t turn to look at the marriage again.

I’m a better man and in very good shape because of her, but she’s not here with me. I don’t remember the last time I was intimate. All I do now is work, go to the gym, and take care of my two children.

I don’t talk to Erica. She’s my greatest enemy, but our child deserves all the same love I give to the other one from my ex-wife.

—Ro  

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