This married man came into my life and started turning things around. He made promises to me and fulfilled them a few days later. He said he liked me and then said I was so beautiful, so he would like to make babies with me and marry me if I wanted to become a second wife.

I didn’t take him seriously until one day he told me the challenges he’d been facing in his marriage, the reason he wanted to have children with me. He said he’d been married for nine years without a child, but because his wife entered the marriage with a child, she made the world believe he was the problem. And it also hurt him that for nine years, he’d been taking care of another man’s child. He wanted his own.

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I asked why he wouldn’t divorce his wife instead of thinking of cheating on her, and he said his wife had been a pillar in his life. Looking at all the good things his wife had done in his life, he didn’t think it was a good idea to leave her at this point. I liked him as a man, but I fell in love with his truth and the way he told it. He promised he had nothing to hide from me but had everything to hide from his wife until he was able to prove to his wife that he too could have a child.

I agreed to date him, but if I can be honest, I also sided with his wife, thinking he couldn’t have a child. If he had been married for nine years without a child and his wife had a child, then definitely, the problem came from him. So I allowed myself to be used for his experiment. He rented a place for me and helped me move in and settle. He said he wanted his child to grow in a peaceful environment.

He would come after work and leave late. Sometimes he would not go home. He would spend the night with me, and those were the happiest moments of our lives. At some point, I fell too deeply in love with him. I wished I could keep him to myself, but I also had to respect the agreement we had.

Five months later, I was pregnant. I was like, “What’s happening? This quick? Or am I mistaken?” I did the test three times, including confirming it at the hospital, before I called to tell him. He spoke in an undertone, as if he didn’t want anyone to hear, “Tell me it’s a joke, and I’ll still laugh.” Even after sending him photos of my results, he still couldn’t believe it. He took me to the clinic to run another test before he accepted it as the truth.

He was so excited he wanted to go and see my parents and discuss our future with them. I was skeptical. I knew my parents wouldn’t agree to this arrangement, so I begged him to give me some time. He spent nights with me more often than he used to. I asked what he had been telling his wife to get away from her. He said I shouldn’t worry my head.

One afternoon, I received a call from his wife. She was angry. She was talking at the top of her voice, accusing me of bringing another man’s pregnancy to her husband. “You know he can’t have kids, but you want his money, right? Say the truth. Hoooo ashawo. You’ll give birth for us to see. We are here.”

I cut the call, but she called again and again until I blocked her. I called him. “How did your wife get my number? How did she know I’m pregnant?”

The wife had been suspecting him, so she went through his phone and found our messages. He was so broken when he was talking to me. He apologized for his wife’s utterances and promised to ensure my safety from her. But this woman would call with another phone and threaten me that I would never have the baby. In one of the calls she made, she was explicit. She said I would die with the baby.

That day, I fought back and also threatened that if she called me again, I’d report her to the police. Every call that came through my phone got me triggered. I couldn’t sleep well. I couldn’t even eat well. I woke up one dawn and I’d miscarried. He spent the night with me that day. He was the one who carried me to the hospital. He heard the news right next to me that we were no longer going to be parents.

He cried like a baby. All my life, I’d never seen a man cry, but he did it and did it more than I expected to see in a man. I was calm about it, but I was scared. My conscience told me I deserved that. No matter what, I was dating a married man.

I got home, cried and told myself I wasn’t safe, so I had to break up with him. Days later, I informed him. Again, he came to my place to cry and beg. I told him I would be friends with him. I begged him to understand me. Time did its trick. It was slow, but eventually, we stopped seeing each other.

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

I’m currently married, and I’ve lost two pregnancies in just two years. This is the reason I’m sharing this story. How can doctors say there’s nothing wrong with me biologically, but I can’t carry a pregnancy to term? This makes it three pregnancies I’ve lost. It’s concerning and also scary.

I’ve convinced myself that the man’s wife placed a curse on me, which is the reason I’m losing babies. She said it several times. At this point, I don’t think she was just making empty threats. I know where to find them. Should I go to her and ask for forgiveness and beg her to lift the curse? Or shouldn’t I resurrect the dead bones of my past and continue praying?

—Barbara   

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