I find it hard to love a man due to my past life. I was into women. I’d rather kiss a woman than look at a man twice. But at some point, things changed. Though a lot has changed, I still find it very difficult to love a man. To be honest with you, men irritate me.
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There’s this friend of mine, Kofi, who has shown interest in me. He’s been a friend over the years. He says he loves me, but he’s not my type. He’s not the kind of guy my heart is wowed by. He talks about marriage. “Adjoa, if you say yes to me today, we will marry in no time.”
The whole marriage thing also irritates me; I don’t know why. Because Kofi has been a friend over the years, I want to give him a chance, but I want to groom him into the kind of man my heart might fall for. So I’ve been telling him to go to the gym to bulk up. I want him well-defined and muscular. I’ve asked him to visit the dentist to have his mouth cleaned and teeth whitened. I want my man to smell good, so I’ve prescribed some lovely perfume for him to buy.
I’ve told him all these things, and his response has always been, “Don’t worry, I will do it,” but he never does any of them. He still smiles at me with that dull-looking set of teeth. He’s never walked into a gym, let alone bought the perfumes I asked him to buy.
This is the only guy I’m thinking of giving a chance, but he doesn’t want to do any of the things I’ve asked him to do. Am I asking for too much? Isn’t it better to shape someone into what you want so you always stick with them, than to be with them and look at other people?
Tell me if I’m asking for too much.
—Lucy
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You don’t just tell him what to do but you can as well help him do that. In this process you might feel something for him but it doesn’t mean you should spend on him too much 😉
Please, the man alone, and continue with your lesbianism.
Which one is do this, do that? As if she is even worth all this stress
You are not. If he’s not willing to make sacrifices for you then he does not love you. Moreover, what you are asking for will only make him a better person. It’s good you have the definition of what you seek in a man. Broaden your search by socializing some more and you will surely find HIM.