I met Naa when I got a new job at the bank she was working at. I was employed as a credit analyst, while she was a teller there. I saw in her everything I could only dream of becoming. She had a pure soul. I’m talking about a typical church girl here.

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Her parents were both pastors. You’d walk into their home and see a proper family. Daily devotions with mum and dad, dinner around the dining table, and grace before meals. They lived in a decent middle-class neighbourhood in a happy, stable home.

I, on the other hand, grew up with my mum and two siblings in a rented chamber and hall situated in a slum. I was exposed to all sorts of social vices at a young age. Smoking, drinking, inappropriate sexual behaviours, name them.

At the time I met Naa, I was already in relationships with two other girls. She didn’t know this about me so she liked me immediately. Although I was drawn to her calm and respectful nature, I found it unfortunate that she always wanted to be around me.

I didn’t want to be deceptive. I told her everything about myself. The drinking, smoking, and my lifestyle of sleeping around.

“I want to be a better man,” I confessed, “I know if I have a woman like you in my life I will be good.”

I told her if she gave me a chance, I would leave all the other women in my life for her.

We took things slow. We started by attending prayer meetings at her church after work. Through that, I began going to my own church more seriously. I even participated in church activities.

By and by, I left the other girls. I stopped roaming and quit drinking. She saw the changes in me. It made her happy.

When we officially started dating, she made it clear that she wanted to wait until marriage for sex, and I respected that.

For about two years, we kept our relationship private at work. People who even suspected us didn’t believe we could be together because our lifestyles were so different.

She was eventually transferred to another branch in Accra, but we still met up after work. We would either go to church or to her house for dinner before I went home, often after 11 p.m.

We were so in love it was beautiful. Everywhere we went, our presence left a mark; Beach outings, restaurants, and even all-night services.

We talked about marriage and even started buying items for our future home. By then she had met my family and visited our house often. I also knew everyone in hers. We were like a married couple already. However, since she was pursuing her degree, we agreed to wait until she completed it before getting married.

Everything was going according to plan until I decided to start an agribusiness venture with some friends from the U.S. The business was based in Dormaa in the Bono Ahafo Region, and I was to serve as the CEO. That meant relocating from Accra and living there full-time.

She wasn’t in support initially, but I told her it was good for our future.

“Look at the prospects,” I argued, “It will pay me more than my banking job.”

In the end, she agreed. We knew the distance would change things but we were sure we could make it work.

“We will visit each other once or twice a month,” we planned.

We could have made it work. I was the one who started wanting something different and ended up messing things up.

I started missing sex. I tried to get her to give in but she refused. “We agreed to do it only after marriage so what’s changed?” She would ask.

It frustrated me but I didn’t argue much because I loved her.

I rather got myself a new girl in Dormaa who was just there to fulfil my physical needs.

That’s when I started to change. I thought I could keep the woman I love and still have what I missed from her. But life taught me that I couldn’t eat my cake and have it.

Being with another woman changed me. Naa and I began having unnecessary arguments. Our phone calls and chats reduced. I even stopped taking her out whenever I came to Accra.

She kept asking why I had changed. She fought for me. She kept trying to get things back to normal but it didn’t work. I was too far gone.

Eventually, I told her I was no longer interested in the relationship. She cried. She begged. She even went to my mum to talk to me on her behalf but I didn’t mind my mother.

At that time we had already bought almost all our wedding items, but I stood my ground and ended the relationship.

It didn’t make sense to anyone. Her family, my family, our friends, and even her pastor tried to get me to explain why I was leaving her but I didn’t have any reasonable explanation.

I just walked away after wasting four years of her life.

When whatever I was chasing left my system, I went back to her. I told I was sorry and that she should take me back. She wasn’t rude or hostile. With her sweet and calm disposition, she told me, “I forgave you long ago but I can’t take you back. I don’t think it’s God’s plan for us to end up together.”

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I knew it was my fault so I accepted her response and left her alone.

A year later, I met an old JSS classmate. Within six months, we were married. Now we have two amazing kids, my business is doing well, and I’m a committed Christian — even a deacon in my church.

Naa got married last year. I was genuinely happy for her. I hear she’s pregnant now. I’ve tried sending her money several times, but she returned it each time and told me she had forgiven.

“Stop trying to right your wrong, Ekow. Find peace and move on with your life.”

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I decided to send our story to this page because I saw her comment on a certain post here the other day. Her name is not actually Naa, but when a story is yours, you will know it. So I know she will know it’s coming from me.

Naa, I want to use this opportunity to apologize again for everything you went through because of me. I truly hope you’ve forgiven me for good. May God bless your marriage and restore everything you lost because of me. Thank you for helping to change me and make me a better man. I will never forget you for as long as I live.

—Ekow

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