When I first met Abi, I was unemployed and broke. The only thing I had to offer her was my undying love. Abi took one look at me and said, “It doesn’t bother me that you are now trying to find your feet in life. All I need is your love.” While Abi took my love and gave me hers, her father was unhappy with our relationship. He had a list of eligible bachelors he wanted her to choose from.
It’s not as if I come from a poor home. My family is middle class. We are not filthy rich but we do what we can to live a comfortable life. If it wasn’t for my unemployment, I wouldn’t have been broke. I tried to explain to Abi’s father that I loved his daughter. “When my finances improve, I will do well to take care of her,” I assured him.
The man had already made up his mind that I was not good enough for his daughter. So no matter how hard we tried for him to accept me, he refused to be moved. He tried to set Abi up with the rich men he considered worthy suitors. Had it not been for the fact that Abi chose me over and over again, he would have succeeded in tearing us apart.
About five years ago, my financial struggles came to an end when I got a good job that paid good money. I don’t know how to explain this for it to make sense, but as soon as I got the job, Abi no longer appealed to me. I would look at her and it would feel like I am looking at a fellow man. Nothing about her moved me anymore. I tried to work on my feelings but it was impossible. By then too, we had a daughter together so walking away from her was not an option.
When I got posted to my current station, I fell in love with another woman named Suzzy. What I felt for her was so strong that I proposed to her. I didn’t tell her about about Abi and our child. So Suzzy accepted my proposal, thinking she was the only woman in my life.
Along the line, Suzzy got pregnant and delivered a beautiful baby boy for me. She is the woman I want to marry. However, my family says the only way they would agree to our marriage is if I marry Abi first. They tell me, “She was here before your new woman came into the picture. When you had nothing, she stood by you. And she is the mother of your first child. So we will not allow you to marry anyone else if you don’t marry her first.”
Abi understands the situation and she is willing to marry me even if it means I would marry Suzzy as a second wife. The problem is Suzzy. She doesn’t want to be a second wife. Her family doesn’t agree either. They don’t want to hear anything about the polygamous marriage. I don’t blame them because I never told Suzzy the truth from the beginning that I have a girlfriend and a baby.
Now, Suzzy is expecting me to marry only her. Abi is also patiently waiting for me to marry her. Moreover, Abi doesn’t expect me to disappoint her because of everything we have been through together. She has put all her hopes on me. This is someone who rejected rich men because of the love she has for me.
Even if I tried to leave her, my family would disown me. They know where we began. They know that I was a nobody when she met me. They know that she has rejected many men just because she gave me all her heart. How do I tell them I am no longer interested in her? How do I explain that the love that used to burn bright in my heart has gone completely cold? I don’t even find her sexually attractive anymore. How do I tell anyone this?
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For the sake of peace, I want to sacrifice my happiness and marry Abi. Maybe after marriage, I will feel the spark again. If it doesn’t happen too, I will find my happiness in Suzzy, that is if she agrees to this whole polygamy thing. I feel like I can’t make any move and come out the winner in this situation. And no matter what I do, someone is going to get hurt.
I am in a dilemma. I need someone to counsel me so I can at least make a favourable decision. How bad will it be if I let Abi go so I can marry Suzzy? I believe Abi deserves to be with a man who loves her. But will she understand if I explain to her that my heart no longer beats for her? Please, help me out of this mess.
—Essien
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#SB
You are very stupid and ungrateful.
If this happened to your sister or any woman in your family, would you be happy? May God forgive you
Kwasea kwa
Why didnt the love u have for Abi dissapear when you were broke and down???Why did it vanish suddenly when you became financiall ok??Sometimes love alone is not enough in marriage cos there is more to marriage other than love.Abi is a marriage material,I wish you marry her and forget about Suzzu.The choice is yours to decide
Marry Abi she is a good woman. Love doesn’t come suddenly to others it takes time. You can only choose one of them. Abi is your answer.
Fucking man…..you don’t deserve such a lady
When a woman refuses to settle for a broke guy, everyone will call her names of all kinds, buh here’s a clear case of a woman staying with a broke man and being disappointed because the man claims to have fallen out of love, the woman you claim to be in love with, you went with money, if you went with your broke self you know in your heart she would have rejected you without thinking twice. You claim Abi has agreed and you think it’s from her heart, brother if she curses you today, it’ll follow you forever…don’t be a selfish person and say Abi deserves to be with someone who would love her, why can’t you be that person..men will be scam ooo, when you were broke you were following her like a man begging her not to give up on you buh here money has come and feelings have changed, masa come back to planet earth cos in a twinkle of an eye you can lose everything that makes you feel you want to marry two women and you would see who continues to stay.
I’m sorry but you’re an ingrate and you don’t deserve a woman like Abi. Someone who stood by you even when her own father was against what she had going on with you??? Someone who you yourself say rejected rich and better folks than you??? Same person??? Ah chale… I’m not gonna mince words but you’re a disgrace to the brotherhood and you should be ashamed of yourself
Dey play….
At least, your family have got sense. Keep fooling. So good job made you stupid all of a sudden?
Wuy3 nansinsssss papapaa
kwasia man jonky jon
I didn’t finish reading this cos I got pissed. I didnt know money could change feelings. Eii men!!! U got small money and den realised the one who has been by ur side for years no longer appealed to you.
Ahhh!, at least you should have thought about the sacrifices Abi made for you when you were down. Dont be ungrateful!
But to be honest, how could u do dat to Abi? eh! u are really ungrateful. After everything Abi has done; rejected all d rich men because of the love she had for u, even when pressurized by parents, standing by u when even when u were broke…. u no get cons cience at all sef.