When I met Junior, he had nothing. I stood by him for eight years before we got married. He is a Navy officer now so his fortunes are changing. Before that, life was hard.

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I remember when he was in training. His mother would call and tell me to send him money. “I don’t have anything to send to him,” she would lament. I never let her down although I barely had enough.

By and by, he finished and started working. I also finished school and I am currently waiting for my posting. While I wait, I’m running a business.

We got married two years ago. Everything my husband does financially is for his family. When there are work benefits that have to do with money, he gives it to his family. He carries their financial burdens on his head as if he does not owe a responsibility to take care of me and our nine-month-old daughter.

Regardless, his people are not satisfied. They say Junior doesn’t do anything for them since he married me. According to them, “He is always broke because of your marriage. You are spending all his money.” I don’t.

If anything they are the ones who do. One time my husband took a loan and bought a car for his father to work with. Prior to that, he was doing susu with his father but never got the money.

When they have any problems that money can solve, he is the one they call. Every funeral his mother attends is on his pocket. He would buy her the funeral cloth, pay for the sewing, and give her money to cover transportation, funeral donation, and other expenses she might incur.

Even his sister’s boyfriend shamelessly takes money from him. Meanwhile, he barely does the bare minimum at home. As for my family, he has never extended his generosity to them. Yet when he finishes his money and we need financial assistance, he tells me, “Ask your family to help us out.”

In truth, me and my people have given more to that marriage than he has given. We didn’t use to live together because of work. Can you believe that when I was finally moving in together with my husband, his family asked me to give them my home appliances? Their reason was, “Junior has all of these things in his house already so you don’t need them.” That’s just how greedy they are.

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All they know is to receive things and favours from people without giving back. The perfect opportunity for her to do something for us was when I gave birth. She came to stay with the intention of helping take care of the baby. I was more than grateful for her help. But she didn’t stay for long.

After a while, she left. She said she was experiencing hardship in the house. Whatever this means, I have no idea. I was disappointed, I won’t lie. Nonetheless, I did not hold it against her.

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Now, amidst his family’s accusations that I am the reason he is broke, Junior sent me a text message that read, “Don’t take this wrongly but ever since we got married, things haven’t been going well for me.”

That’s all he is willing to say. I am deeply hurt that he is beginning to sound like his mother and sister. What am I supposed to do with the information he texted me, anyway? What can I do to get him to focus on our marriage?

—Yara

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