At the time I met Eyram, I was involved with three other men. One of them was Nii, my on-and-off boyfriend. We fought most of the time and broke up after every fight. Whenever we got back together, we knew it was just a matter of time before we fought again. That was how our relationship worked and it was fine with us.

The other guy was Tony. I liked him very much but I couldn’t take him seriously. This is because I didn’t know his genotype. That’s how it works with me. I have to know a man’s genotype before I give him my heart. Tony didn’t know his status. I asked him to go and check so we’d know if we were compatible but he kept giving me excuses. This didn’t bode well for our relationship.

Then there was Sam. Sam is a man I had been seeing for the past seven years. At the time I met him, I needed money to further my education. “I will help you,” he offered, “I will take care of you through school so don’t worry.” I was surprised but I accepted his offer anyway. Of course, it wasn’t for free. He wanted a pound of flesh in return for his help, and I did not withhold myself from him.

Out of all the people I was spending time with, his own filled me with the most guilt. Sam is a married man. He lived with his wife and I didn’t live alone. So we often met at hotels for shuperu. Sometimes too we did it in his car. The most regrettable ones for me were the ones we did in his matrimonial home.

I didn’t love any of these men. I was with them for the benefits, convenience, and familiarity. When I have intimacy with any one of them, I would go home and cry. I don’t know why I kept going back to them. Only that I couldn’t stay away no matter how hard I tried.

Surprisingly, when Eyram came along I felt differently about him. I liked him. I had feelings for him. So I gave him a chance. Truth be told, I stopped messing with the other guys when Eyram and I started dating seriously. He even found out about them and I admitted it.

He was upset at first but we talked through it. “I don’t want you to do anything with those men again. As a woman, you need to put some dignity on yourself,” he complained. I promised him that I was done with them. And it was true.

The thing is, I am a teacher so I don’t earn much. I support my sister who is a widow with three children with my meager salary. So sometimes things get difficult for me financially. When this happens, I am not able to ignore Sam when he asks to see me. I don’t go all the way with him but we still fool around. He gives me money when we are done. That’s why I go to him whenever I am broke.

Among all the three men I had before Eyram came along, Sam is the only man I still entertain. I did my best to hide it but my boyfriend found out. He said he has a supernatural gift. He is able to sense it whenever I have been with another man. That’s what he says but I know he is only able to find these things out because he cloned my WhatsApp.

I know he has trust issues because of my past. But he is the only man I have been intimate with, in a year. I have reassured him several times that he is the only man for me, but he questions my loyalty all the time. A few months ago, I found out that I was pregnant.

When I told him about it the first question he asked me was, “Are you sure it’s mine?” I am not going to lie, I was deeply hurt by his assertion that I would bring him another man’s pregnancy. As if that was enough, he completely disappeared from my life. For two whole weeks, I didn’t hear from him.

Although it was the early stages of pregnancy, it took a heavy toll on me. I needed help getting to work and back. By then, I had formed a friendship with one of my learner’s father. The man gave indications that he liked me but I never paid attention to him. When I needed help during those two weeks, he was the one who was there.

When two weeks passed and I still didn’t hear from Eyram, the reality of my situation dawned on me. I was pregnant with no financial stability. And the father of my child had doubts about the paternity of the child. I was not ready to raise a child on my own so I did the difficult thing. I sent him a text saying, “I am not going to continue the pregnancy. I will get rid of it.” I thought he would ignore it like my earlier texts but he responded, “Okay.”

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I didn’t have money but I had to find a way to raise money for the procedure. After everything was done, Eyram came crawling back. He drooled with apologies and a “Forgive me for disappearing on you. I needed time to clear my head,” on repeat like a broken record. I was mad at him when he showed up. But because of the love I have for him, I couldn’t turn him away.

Here is another thing. Remember the father of one of my learners who showed interest in me? Well, he is now actively in my life. We got closer when he asked me for a kiss one day. It was unexpected but I wasn’t surprised. The man had been giving me money and gifts. He was bound to ask for something in return at some point. I figured a kiss wouldn’t hurt anyone so I kissed him. Now he is attached.

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I like the new guy. But Eyram and I have history. Unfortunately, this same history we have is causing problems in the relationship. He doesn’t trust me because of my past. This means I have to find a way to rebuild the trust if I choose to stay with him. If not, I would have to start over with this new man who doesn’t know anything about my past.

This is my dilemma. Do I stay with my boyfriend and rebuild the trust? If so, then what can I do to earn his trust? Or should I start afresh with someone new who doesn’t have any history to use as ammunition against me?

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—Sophia 

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